Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Joys of Potty Training

So today was a big huge treat because Chad didn't have to leave super early like normal, so I popped out of bed, brushed my hair and teeth and grabbed Max to head out the door to the grocery store. "Treat?" you say? Well yes, because a) I only had to tote one child with me and b) Max loves the grocery store so it was like a mommy date. When I stopped to fill up my car with gas on the way to the store, I even took Max in to pick out a donut because I could take him inside without having to carry a carseat of baby Jack, too. It really felt like I was a free woman!

Anyway, I cruised up and down the aisles and since it was so early, the senior citizens were there playing Bingo (seriously!) and so Max flirted profusely with all of them. He even convinced me to get out of the cart and I thought, what the heck, it's 8:30am at Publix, no one is here, why not? And so he ran up and down with me, and would take detours for more flirting and then re-join me. What a ham.

In less than an hour, I had my cart full of a week and a half worth of grocery, had everything crossed off my list, and got all the deals I had come for, so we headed to check out. Right as they got my last reusable bag stuffed full and added to the cart, I lift Max back to his seat, against his wishes. At that moment he said this mother's most dreaded words while in public: "Mommy, I have to go potty."

So I pushed my cart to the side- full of groceries that I had already paid for that were warming by the second, and took my tot into the PUBLIC restroom and because I didn't have baby Jack with me, I didn't bring the diaper bag which had the hand sanitizer and the travel potty seat. FAIL! We headed for the big stall because without the travel seat, he would have to be stripped all the way down, otherwise his legs wouldn't spread far enough to keep him from falling all the way in!

Once he was on the potty, his did his business rather quickly, and I was proud. After the proper song and  dance, I told him to hold my shoulders and step into his clothes-- instead, he held here:

I gagged.

Then, when it was time to put on his shoes I again pulled him close to me (while I too was squatting and clutching my purse and coupons) and told him to hold my shoulders, but he decided to SIT on the floor and put his hands ON the floor.

Again, I gagged.

Then before I could even regain composure, he said "I flush it" and did this:

With his BARE hands. And again- I had NO hand sanitizer.

The only more disgusting thing that he has done in his life was this: you know, put the cap from the bottom of the toilet in his mouth! It still makes me cringe.

Ahhhh, I am so NOT prepared for the germs and nastiness of toddlers-- especially those that happen in the PUBLIC restroom. I must've been making a face, because as we walked out of the restroom, Max said, "Ew Mom, that was gross."

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