As you know, we are in the midst of potty training (details are forthcoming... as soon as a get a half second to type it all out!). And it is because of this that Chad and I experienced a dismal parenting failure.
On Monday morning, like 6am, Max had had an accident in his bed (bummer) so I went in to his room to strip his bed and put on fresh sheets while Chad took Max to the potty and wiped him down. They came back into Max's room as I was finishing up with the bed to get some fresh undies for Max.
Max said, "Look Mom," while pointing to his privates, "I see my bottom."
I laughed at him and said, "That's not your bottom!" And I reached and pinched his hiney and said, "that's your bottom!" Then I too pointed at his privates and said, "that's... that's your.... that's your....." and froze, looking to Chad for the answer. And Chad just froze and stared back at me.
Like deer in headlights, I mouthed to Chad "what is it called?" and then gave him some suggestions: "wee wee, pee pee, tee tee" so Chad said, "that's you're wee wee Max". Max was proud and we have been talking about it (A LOT) ever since.
But it was in the moment that I decided that marriage counseling should go like this:
Counselor: Do you all plan to have children?
Couple: yes we do
Counselor: Great, so what do you plan to call the genitalia for a boy? Ok, great, and a girl?
I'm not sure how we escaped it this long- Max is two and just now proud of his "wee wee"and just now requiring a name for it-- maybe because we've been the ones changing him and just now, through potty training, he's well acquainted with all it can do- including spraying people! But this is a lot of pressure, naming 'it'! I hate the really p-word, you know, the one that's the correct name for the thing. (My friend Anna informed me that you're supposed to teach them the anatomically correct names for their privates, and I don't know the reasoning for this, but, ummm, let me be honest, I'm just not mature enough for that.) And for some reason, with Gabe, Chad called it a doodler and that's haunted me for years- I mean a doodler? That should be a special pen, for doodling on a doodle pad, come on! So when it came time for the naming, we choked, big time!
Lucky for us, Max won't remember that- and for those of you reading this, and it's not too late for you, talk about it now! What, you're not even planning to have kids for a while? Great! Then it's perfect timing!