Recently me has been getting in the way a lot. Me keeps getting in my head about food- something looks really yummy but isn't on the diet, so I stuff it in my mouth like a small child who might get caught. But I'm adult. And I inflicted these diet rules and regulations upon myself. Then I chastise me for being so lame and having no self-control. Aren't the decreasing numbers on the scale enough, I ask myself?
Me causes a scene in the evenings too- am I going to push earlier bedtime or is the summer bedtime still ok? And will the baby sleep in his crib or in my room? I decide that tonight is sleep boot camp and I won't feed him until the morning. I buckle down, ready to get up 50 times and sooth Jack back to sleep without feeding until morning's light. But then me gets in the way, reminding me how tired I am and if me would just feed him then me would get more sleep.
Me also causes me to think about me and look out for me and focus on me. Me leads to whining too and comparing. Me definitely causes a shortage of patience and even some inner temper tantrums. And me is most certainly selfish. Focusing on the wrong things.
All of a sudden, me is winning a lot. Is it a lack of discipline?
And you know, when there's this much me going on, there isn't enough room for you.
I think Satan must've found my weak spot: me.
It's time for me to die.
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility, value others above youselves. Phil 2:3
I'm linking this post over at The Extraordinary Ordinary for the first "Just Write" party. Go visit. And write!
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