What Life Would’ve Been Like

Last week, our sitter and her husband were at my house when I got home from work.  They were in the youth group that I worked with for several years, so they knew my "back story".  They knew me before I knew Chad and Gabe, and before the thought of a "Max" even existed.  Josh, our sitter (Maggie's) husband, started asking me questions about my past.  He wanted to know what led me to North Metro (the church I mentioned above) and why I chose that job over another... and then and there started my trip down memory lane.

Because I was "in love" when I started my post- college graduation job search, I didn't necessarily make my own decisions about my career.  Unfortunately (fortunately), my heart dictated the majority of those decisions.  I stayed in state and took a job at a church and bought a barely used car from my parents.  Not long after that, I got engaged, signed a lease for an apartment with said fiance, while living with my parents until the wedding, and my life started down life's road.... only to encounter a road block:  BREAK- UP!  Mid- engagement, I called off the wedding, and dealt with several  (MANY) months of a broken heart and re-grouping.

With the re-grouping came un-doing and then re-doing life, so that it would be my own.  I got my own apartment, my own style, my own eating and work-out regime, my own cleaning supplies and vacuum cleaner, my own bills, and my own dog. And after much taunting from my friend and co-worker who should remain nameless, I bought my very first car on my own- my dream car- from a dealership, brand new, smelled like heaven, straight off the lot.  This was second, only to my very improved intimate relationship with my friend Jesus.  (I knew Jesus before this debacle-- I just didn't know how much I NEEDED Jesus until this debacle-- it was the most wonderful and life-changing thing that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, and hope to never have again,  experience.)

Last week, my dream car did something it's never done before:



Me and that car have traveled and grown 75,000 miles worth!  Holy COW!  Since I got that car, God re-built my life and my heart, I met a guy (and his cute kid), we fell in love and got hitched, we bought a house, and had a baby, all while driving 75,000 miles.  So as I watched the odometer click over to 75000, I couldn't help but think how life would've been different had I chosen a slightly different path.

You see, the "fiance" I mentioned at the top pursued me when I wanted NOTHING to do with him- I even got another boy friend and told him about this new boo and the guy didn't care- he wouldn't stop.  He wore me down and I ended up dating him, which of course led to the whole mess I explained above.  BUT let's say I didn't do that-- let's say I stuck to my word and didn't everanswer the phone again when he called, like I had threatened- then I wouldn't have been in a relationship with him EVER! I would've taken a good paying job and moved to California post graduation- which means I would've never worked at the church that has led to some of my greatest and closest friendships, I would've missed the crying on the floor need God to breathe experience that led Him to actually getting to sit on the throne of my heart, I would've never met Chad (and therefore no Gabe) and I wouldn't have a Max.

Depressing.

Needless to say, I'm glad I answered my phone, disaster and all-- which is why I added the "(fortunately)" to the second paragraph above.  My little trip down memory lane was an incredible reminder of how God can make our messes into beauty-- even when we wind ourselves up in stupidity, sin, and bad decisions.  Look what He made out of my mess:













I'm so glad I got to think through what life would've been like, and I'm so glad it's not like that!  My life and my experiences and my family, all smooshed together, make for the most incredible blessings, and I'm so glad THIS is how I get to spend my time here on earth.  And hopefully, we're all bringing God much glory in the process.