Thursday, April 29, 2010

The Porcupine Museum

My Dad has two very endearing descriptions of me:  the first is that I'm as cuddly as a porcupine, and the second is that I'm a museum and that means you can look but don't touch.  And while I'd love to dispute these statements, it's actually pretty true.  I'm not sure why this is-- it's not like I don't like people or I'm afraid of germs or anything.  I'm just not touchy.  I think it's because I'm too busy and always too forward thinking to sit and cuddle.  I'm that friend that always make a "hello hug" really awkward, because it's always an afterthought once I've realized that someone is going in for the hug, and I try to react- but because I don't think about it, I'm not quick enough, and hence, the awkward situation.  And then, once the visit is over, I don't think to hug, and so I find myself in yet another awkward situation.

Now don't get me wrong.  I love affection from my Hubby-- although, I've missed several opportunities because I'm "busy".  And I often need a good hug or a quick snuggle, but then I'm off again-- and if Chad holds me up, I get frustrated.  Poor guy-- he can't win for losing.  When Gabe was little, he used to ask, "Will you snuggle me up?"  And we could never tell those eyes no about something that cute, so we'd crawl into bed with him and snuggle until he dozed off.  This has now become a staple phrase in our house whenever someone needs some lovin-- I ask Chad sometimes or Gabe, and they'll come sit with me.  And it's great.  Until I've had my 5 minutes of affection- then I'm done.  Please know that I do realize this is really weird.  I'm sounding more and more like a love 'em and leave 'em type of girl, ha!

Humorous.  Kind of.  Until I realized that I passed this trait along to my Max.  Boo.  I have a child that does NOT want to be cuddled.  He doesn't snuggle in for a good napping session or want to be hugged or snuggled up. But he does insist on being held (by me). He wants to be carried around life, so he can see everything and grab everything and help me with everything, but he doesn't appreciate my affections.  This really bothers Chad- I think because Gabe will still come sit with Chad, all snuggled up for an entire tv show or movie.  Gabe wants to be touching whenever he's near you.  But not Max.

Max's lack of affection does kind of make me sad too-- but I take it where I can get it.  When he sees me after not seeing- even if it's only been 30 minutes, I get one big BUT super quick hug.  And he still loves to be semi-snuggled up when he has his bottles. But that's about it.

So this past week, we have experienced quite the phenomenon over here at the Porcupine Museum.  Max has WANTED to be rocked multiple times this week and he has allowed me to sing and cuddle him to sleep.  I repeat, I have gotten to snuggle my baby up MANY times this week and I've loved every precious nano-second of it.  He laid his head on my chest, with his arms wrapped around me and mine wrapped around him, and back and forth we went until sleep took over.  And then I sat there and basked in the wonderfulness of the moment for a LONG while!  Ahhhhhhh!  I hope heaven is like that.

When Max was a newborn, he would fall asleep in my arms momentarily, and it required holding him super tight against your body to get him to stop fighting and fall asleep. (The sleeper hold?!)  But seriously, maybe 5 times in his life.  He has always preferred his bed.  And I know to some degree, I created that, because I was so insistent on teaching him to be a good sleeper, without sleep props, with the ability to fall asleep on his own.  But apparently, it's a catch 22.  Because while it is great to have a baby who can be laid in bed when it's nap time or bed time and he goes to sleep, it's really sad to have such a cutie that won't be rocked or cuddled.  Until THIS week.


Pure bliss.

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