Do you have something you sleep with? Or maybe you slept with when you were a kid? I wasn't ever one of those kids- I'm not sure why- but I just slept. Now that I'm a grown-up (kinda) and I get to sleep with a boy every night, he is my snuggle. Now for clarification reasons, just note that this boy is my husband. And as mentioned before, I am not really the snuggling, cuddling, hugging type so really it's just more of a sleep prop, but without him, I do not sleep well.
I try to explain this to people who are yet to be married, but close, and I'm not sure it goes over real well, but I'm going to give it a try, publicly: my most absolute favorite thing about being married is that mine and Chad's start and stop places are the same: our home. Regardless of all the crazy goings on in our lives, we start together and end together. And although I may have been home for hours before he gets home for the evening, it isn't until he walks in the door that I really hunker down and settle in. When we are all home for the night, there is peace. And when we all wake up in the morning and are getting ready for our day, there is comfort. And when it's all over and we come back home again... peace. We never have to have the "when am I going to see you next?" conversation or the "will you come over to my place tonight?" conversation or the "what are you doing tonight, well can I come?" conversation-- because we are one, and we're together, even when we're not together. And not in the we're "together", a substitute word for "dating" together-- no no no, we are like together together. For LIFE. And in that, in there, everything in the world is right.
It's even more intense when it comes to sleeping- which leads us back to The Snuggle. And yes, I am literally talking about sleeping. When Chad is away, I don't sleep well. And it's not because I need him touching me-- I need my sleep space. And it's not because I need to have conversations in the middle of the night-- please don't make me converse in the middle of the night. But it's because he is my snuggle, my one and only someone, my constant- and in order to sleep well, he needs to be sleeping beside me.
Well my Max has a snuggle. It's blue and soft and he sleeps with it every night. We leave it in his bed and don't take it with us unless we're going on car trips- he might object to this later- but for now, this keeps it clean-ish. When it's time to go to bed for the night or for a nap, I take Max into his room, give him his passy, then put the snuggle over my shoulder. He dives into it, rubbing his face on it, grinning, closing his eyes, and ahhhh, the peace comes on him. His body relaxes and I start singing our song... then I lay him in his bed, he flops over to his side and cuddles up to his snuggle, and that's the end.
When I check on him, he usually has his booty in the air, his arms and legs curled under him, and his snuggle intertwined in his limbs. It's precious. Take your breath away precious. Remind me that I have to keep breathing precious.
I've tried to give him other snuggles so that I can wash his true love- by he is a one-snuggle kind of guy and there are NO substitutes. He will literally throw them, the fakes, on the floor. My friend Erin, who has been my friend forever and ever and ever, gave me the blue snuggle as soon as we found out that "it" was a boy. Erin is one of those people who NEVER stops thinking about others, she is a gift giver- like really thoughtful gifts- she is so So SO darn loyal, and when she loves, man oh man, she loves. And let me just say, I am one of those people she loves-- and it is good!!
Well in March of 2009, right after our sonogram, Erin picked out The Snuggle for my Max. She had it wrapped all pretty, and as always, had a sweet card to go with it. I brought the snuggle home and put it in his nursery, all ready for him. But I had no idea-- none... zip... zilch... how important this would be for Max. Sometimes Max chews on his snuggle, sometimes Max wipes his nose on his snuggle, and sometimes he plays with his snuggle, sometimes Max hides under his snuggle-- but every time, Max sleeps with his snuggle.
Someday there is going to be a lady in his life-- and I pray he loves her like he does his snuggle. And I pray he snuggles with her too. I pray that he loves only her and saves his body, mind, and heart for only her-- in his one snuggle guy kind of way. It makes my chest tight to think that he's going to grow up and fall in love and then find out it's the wrong girl and get his heart broken. But it makes my chest every tighter and my insides shudder to think that one day, he's going to fall in love and it's going to be the right girl-- and she'll be his lady for life. He's going to have a wedding ring on his hand and he'll be the leader of a marriage and a woman, and a family.
So for the next 25 (ish) years I'm going to pray for him, and his future wife. And me and his Dad are going to work really hard to set an awesome example through our own marriage and we're going to work to be transparent when we mess up.
I'm a country music kind of girl and I LOVE the song "Love Like Crazy" by Lee Brice-- his lyrics say it best:
Be a best friend, tell the truth, and overuse I love you
Go to work, do your best, don't outsmart your common sense
Never let your prayin knees get lazy
And love like crazy
Always treat your woman like a lady
Never get too old to call her baby
Never let your prayin knees get lazy
And love like crazy
But for right now, I am his lady, and he only has eyes for me... and that makes me very happy!