Monday, June 14, 2010

A Bounty of "Great" Ideas

It took a lot of effort but I did get to read a book while at the beach.  The book I read is called "Rattled" by Christine Coppa- as in Cop + pa, not like Copacabana, the song.  She made a point of making that clear in the book :)  Anyway, it was her real story about getting pregnant before she was married, her boyfriend bails, and she decides to keep the baby.  It was really good- and I enjoyed it- especially because I was pregnant semi-recently and thought some of her explanations of "the phenomenal things" that happen to the pregnant body were really funny.  And I like her because she's tough, and she's a fighter, and she took responsibility for her actions.

But have you ever noticed how books can be a bad influence on you?  I use the word "bad" loosely.

After reading this book, I had a streak of "I am Woman, Hear me Roar".  It was our last day at the beach, and Chad had gone to play golf.  It was also National Donut Day- which considering my LOVE/ ADORATION/ OBSESSION with donuts, this day make the top 3 on my list of holidays-- only after Christmas and my Birthday.  I celebrate my birthday all month long- I have a birth month- and I eat donuts as often as necessary throughout my month.  And Christmas is the celebration of the birth of my Savior-- and donuts just really can't compare to that.  So, it's my 3rd favorite holiday.

So back to National Donut Day... with Chad gone, and I was "roaring", I got Gabe dressed, loaded Max in his stroller, put on a long, cotton maxi-dress, and we began walking to Dandee Donuts to celebrate.

The problem: it was 1.9 miles away- one way- including a walk over the inter-coastal waterway, in the direct sun, with temps already reaching 90 degrees.  We got about a 4th of the way there and Gabe's legs started hurting... it was "no fair" that Max got to ride in the stroller... sweat beads started dripped from my leg pits, and all of a sudden, my floor length BLACK dress, although sleeveless, didn't seem like a great idea.  I tried to talk Gabe into McDonald's instead, but I've trained him well and he would NOT settle for anything but donuts.  So I kept being "Woman" and roaring (and sweating)... and dragging my poor innocent sons with me, and we made it- eventually.  Unfortunately, we had to traipse back, after breakfast.  That was really awful!  I had to bribe Gabe with an after breakfast popsicle if he made it to our Condo.  All because of a book?!

And this is NOT the first time this has happened!  I've mentioned my broken engagement a couple times and one particularly good example of a book being a bad influence surrounds that story.... a couple months after calling it quits, I remember stumbling upon a book, "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldredge, that we had been reading for marriage counseling. "He" had read it first then passed it to me- I hadn't even started when we called it quits, so it just found a home on my bookshelves.  I eventually started to pick it up again, late one night, and found scribbles down the sides, from him, of all the deficits I had as a woman, and that my Dad had instilled in me.

My blood started boiling as I remembered conversations with "him" trying to turn me against my Dad, and now I was holding his ammo in my hands.  What a creep!  SO I skimmed through the rest of the book, finding all of his snide comments and it was obvious what I needed to do.  I had a battle to fight (if you're read the book, then you know what I'm talking about) and I needed to make it right.  I pulled on some clothes, and hopped in my car.

My plan?  Well I still had a key to his house, so I could drive over, walk in his apartment, walk in his room, and get in at least 2 good punches to his face before he woke up enough to defend himself.  I was certain that it would work flawlessly.  And by all means, make me feel better.  (I had never been the violent type, but this seemed like the ideal time to become one.) Praise the Lord for his Spirit that lives inside of me and reminded me that it probably wasn't a good idea for me, a staff person at our Church, working with students, to end up in jail for beating up an ex.  And now, several years later, I realize I wouldn't really want to explain that to my kids on day either.  But I was one heck of a warrior in my head!

After reading Karen Kingsbury books, I'm always super emotional and SO in love.  After reading girlie love books, I look for extra "romance" from Chad.  If you know Chad, then you know this is funny, because he doesn't do romance and somehow manages to make every potential romantic situation into a comedy.  He can actually make any situation into a comedy- but that's neither here nor there. The list goes on, but my point is that books- most of which aren't even real, give me these "great ideas"- like throwing a HUGE party, bashing someone's face in, being romantic, accomplishing some great un-accomplishable task, being mother of the year, etc....

Does this ever happen to you?  Am I the only psychopathic freakazoid out there? (self-diagnosed)

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