Thursday, September 27, 2012

Not Even For A Second...

This morning Chad had an early wake up call which alerted a wood pecker to start pecking outside my window at 6:47 after my staying up until way after midnight. That should've been my sign to call it quits for the day- I'm an 8 hr sleep a night kind of gal, and well, I didn't even get close to 7-- it was going to get ugly.

So by 9am, I had already had multiple conversations with Max about why he couldn't have cookies for breakfast, and a handful of conversation which consisted of me begging him to be the mommy today so that I could be Max. Unfortunately he couldn't get past the fact the he couldn't reach the cereal or he would've realized that it was actually a good deal that could've resulted in said cookie for breakfast. Oh well, I had to put on a smile and be the mommy, again!

Luckily they're really cute and funny... During bed making and dressing they were cracking me up and delivering kisses. Before I even knew it, I was sucked back into the roll... Despite the double runny noses that are the reason that we've gone through 9 (seriously) boxes of tissues in less than 2 weeks. Our trash man may have noticed and influx, for real.

Well I was sitting on my floor reading an email when Max came and delivered another kiss only to disgust me because it involved slimy snot being passed to my face. I sent him to his bedside table to retrieve his 72625th tissue of the morning and he said "I can't see any tissues by my bed." Well just 10 minutes before I had gotten a tissue myself from the box so I was momentarily befuddled until I remembered that Chad had just flew in and back out a few minutes before and thought that maybe he had used the last of the tissues from that box and thrown it away. I went to find Jack who was playing in the trash per normal, and beside him was a tissue box.

It made everything make sense. A few minutes earlier, just seconds after Chad left and seconds before Max delivered the slimy kiss, I had asked Max where Jack was... We could hear him but we couldn't see him. Max rounded the corner and found him in the bathroom pulling tissues out of the trash and blowing his nose. I could pretend that I'm appalled by this and the grossness of the story but let's just say that it happens ALL. THE. TIME. All day long. We keep our kitchen trash can up on a chair for this very reason. And yes, we say no, and discipline him, but the draw of the trash is just too much for Jack and it's too often for this mother who needs to have more than 10 seconds to get something done without having to remove said child from dumpster diving. So I just put minimal stuff- like tissues- in the bathroom trash and transfer all other things straight to the kitchen trash that is kept out of Jack's reach. I should tell you that Chad is worried about his future and that we have lost several important items to his love for the trash... Like a set of keys, his buggle, many cups and Tupperware from the cabinet he can reach, etc... And we didn't realize any of these items were gone until they were in a landfill gone. But that's a story for another day.

So back to my original story... Max gets a tissue from my room, I wipe his nose, and he then announces he has to go potty. I send him that direction only to have him right back in my face making a sad face saying, "Jack put 5 5 5 5 tissues in the potty." What could he mean? Well, let's just say that for once Jack wasn't playing in the trash and Chad hadn't used the last of the tissues nor had he put the box in the trash can Jack was playing with... No no no! Jack had gone to Max's room, carried the tissues to the bathroom, opened the toilet, blew his nose on every tissue and wadded it up and dropped it in the potty. Lucky for me, Max had the sense NOT to use it or else when I reached in the potty to pull each and every tissue out, I would've also gotten to deal with bodily fluids and excrement. Joy.

The moral of the story? Don't take your eye off of this child. Not even for a second. He's only 16 months people... It's downhill from here!

No comments:

Post a Comment