When I take Max to the doctor because he's sick, and we have to use the "sick entrance" rather than the "well entrance", it makes me feel like I'm a bad mom.
Today I got to go to the grocery store ALONE- it was like the best reward ever. This is huge, because I didn't have to entertain while I shopped or hurry or avoid certain aisles or get any of Max's "help". I even talked to Anna on my way to tell her about what fun I was about to have... and then while I was there, watching other moms with their children, I was wishing mine was with me.
Tonight, after dinner, we turned on Christmas music, while Chad and I were cleaning the kitchen. I came around the corner into the living room and saw Max and Gabe dancing, hand in hand, and what did I do? Cry.
We spent all last week in Indiana and my parents took WONDERFUL care of us. They took care of the boys, cooked and cleaned up after the Bowman tornado, spoiled us all rotten, let the pudgy, sick, tired pregnant lady sit on her booty, and while I enjoyed every single second of it, I simultaneously felt guilty for not helping.
I know that my regular pants are going to hurt and send pains up my middle if I wear them. Yet, I still wear them.
When people call me and start with "Hey, do you have a second?" I always feel like something is wrong or they have something bad to say. On the other hand, when I call people, I start with, "Hey, do you have a second?"
Now that it's cold outside, I take Max's coat with us everywhere. But I always leave it in the car, wherever we go. I'm sure it's doing him a lot of good in there.
I have more crazy person thoughts and ideals, I just can't think of them now, so these will have to do. And honestly, I can't blame the majority of these on hormones-- it's just the way I am.