Wednesday, December 8, 2010

The Unmarried Fat girl with a Toddler

So this gives me a serious complex.  I'm allergic to my wedding ring this pregnancy. Seriously. And when I googled it, apparently this is a normal side effect to pregnancy.  These darn hormones are smack crazy.  Wearing my wedding ring cause my finger to get red, swollen, flakey, and itchy.  And then it almost hurts. And itches. But hurts.

So I stopped wearing my ring.  And sometimes I wear a cheapo band from Kay Jewelers-- like the super skinny, plain band with nothing pretty about it. But even that makes my finger act up.  So most of the time, I'm an unmarried, fat girl carrying around a toddler.  And between my pregnancy acne and pony-tailed hair, honestly, I'm just fighting the men off of me.

But this ring thing really bothers me.  I don't know why this bothers me so much, but it just kills me when married people take off their ring.  I just think it should always be worn- always.  And for real, it's one of the first things I noticed about people-- are they married?  And I assume that if there is no ring, then they are not married.  And I guess I'm even naive enough to believe that everyone who is married treats is as a scared union, no others allowed, like I do.  So naturally, to me, rings say "off limits and off the market".  And I like it that way.

So my husband always wears his ring.  We got him to super duty ring, so that work wouldn't mess it up-- we wear told when we were buying it that if there was a medical emergency, that they wouldn't be able to cut it off. I knew immediately that it was the one he needed-- he uses his hands at work all day, he does the dishes a majority of the time, he golfs, plays, works out, etc... it needed to be tough to stick with him a lifetime.  And of course, I got the pretty ring.  It was brand new when we got it, but it looks like estate jewelry and I've never seen anyone with anything like it and I JUST love it.

But now that I'm growing a child, while carrying around a child, and I can't wear my ring, I feel SO insecure.  I worry about what others are thinking.  I feel judged.  And I just hope that I remember this is next time I start to "infer" about someone else's life.  And I can't help but wonder how Mary felt-- she showed up pregnant and had NOT even done what it takes to get pregnant.  I can only imagine how judged she felt.  And then Joseph- he was told to stick with her- despite what "it looked like"- and he did.  He stuck with his fiancee who was pregnant with God's baby.  I guess I just need to get over myself- does it really matter what others think?  And maybe it will open up a cool conversation-- maybe God wants to use this situation.  He used Mary's situation-- that's for sure!  He sent us a Savior- the Savior of the World!

No comments:

Post a Comment