|29 wks and ?? days pregnant with baby #3|
I'm carrying much different this go around- everything has been different actually- but I'm not sure if that's because it's a girl in there or if it's because I've spent 4+ months in 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, and 2013 pregnant.... I think that could do it to ya too! It was Chad's choice this go around not to find out the gender and it has actually been a lot more tolerable than I expected... even almost fun! I have a small stack of pink clothes and a small stack of blue clothes washed and ready for baby (obviously the pinks are borrowed since we own no such thing in this Bowman boy house!) and now we just wait for him/ her to show it's little face ( well booty, but you know what I mean!)
We've picked out 2 names, too... but it's funny not calling the baby by a name like we have with the others. I knew them by name for half of the pregnancy and their name was normal in our language, but not this time! It definitely adds an element of mystery to the whole thing! If it's a boy, baby will be Sam Joseph. Sam because it's cute yet manly and strong for his later years, plus it goes great with Gabe, Max, and Jack with it's "a" sound. And yes, it's just Sam, like it's just Max, and just Jack. My brother is actually Samuel- so it's not technically after him, but it's not not after him either. Clear as mud? And then we always do a family name for the middle name, so Joseph is after Chad's grandpa Joe whom he just adored. I never got to meet him, but I've heard stories, that's for sure!
If baby is a girl, her name will be Lila. I fell in love with this name about 6 months before I became pregnant and just no other name could compare. Her middle name will be after Chad's grandmother- Ruth Mae-- so it will either be Lila Ruth or Lila Mae. We have good reasons for choosing both and just haven't finalized yet. Lila Mae is just adorable and if that's her name, she'll probably get called that a lot, and a good double name is always appreciated here in the south. But Lila Ruth is great too-- Ruth after Yang Yang, Ruth like my BFFA Ruth who has a heart and a kindness any mother would love to see in her daughter, and then lately, after so deep studying in my BSF bible study of Genesis, just learning how Ruth, a Moabite, let her faith in the Lord lead her away from her pagan culture, and her love for God eventually led her to be in the line of Jesus-- if we have a Lila, I'm praying for a faith like that, even when the world around her goes the opposite direction. And just for a quick note on Yang Yang, she's Chad's grandmother who passed away last year- she was just a dear part of all of our visits to Texas, she's such a hard worker, and an admirable, beautiful woman. Chad was a great post on her here.
I have no idea if this is the last time I'll be pregnant-- somedays I'm certain it is, and then other days I find myself hoping for one more. Chad is in the same boat. He was originally adamant that this would be our last one- which after this baby, he will have fathered 4 wonderful children, can you blame him? But it still grieved me to make such a call without feeling like the Lord led us there. Well without me saying anything, seriously, it's rare, I know, the Lord made it obvious to Chad too that it's God's plan, not ours. We're waiting for that tender moment when we have all our babies in our nest and hear a whisper from above that says "You're all here". Then we'll know we're done!
Until then, I regularly lament about my many chins, my ham hocks for arms, the sciatic issues I'm experiencing this go around and the fact that this baby thinks it should use my bladder as a pillow, literally, and my diaphragm as a foot rest. If I'm not peeing, I'm out of breath. I still feel really strong about the fact that your pregnancy it what you make it-- it's hard to grow a human and carry another 25+ pounds around, especially while taking care of lots of little people and moving, and still keeping up with normal life. But what an honor and a blessing it is that God saw it fit to grow children inside of my body-- children that I get to birth and then love and raise-- so far, it's been the thing I've adored most about my life here on earth. And unfortunately, I'm surrounded by many women praying and begging for such a moment as this, wanting to feel knees and elbows slide along inside their belly. So even with the hardships, and the exhaustion, this mama is filled to the brim with joy, and isn't taking these blessings for granted.