Monday, May 16, 2011

Things NOT to do when you're pregnant

1. While being one month pregnant, trying to celebrate Christmas-- instead, you'll sleep through it.  (Max)

2. While being two months pregnant, going to your own wine tasting birthday party, thrown lovingly by your friend Jill, and you can't even participate.  (Jack)

3. While being three months pregnant, getting a tail bone cyst that has to be cut out while you're awake and feeling it all because the baby is too little for any pain medicines or drugs.  (Max)

4. While being four months pregnant, getting the type A flu so bad that it last for over 10 days, with little to no sleep, many days of no eating, lots of fevers, and more coughing than one person should do during their entire life.  (Jack)

5. While being five months pregnant, moving to a new house, full of hardwood floors that you insist on mopping while on your hands and knees.  This is especially bad is you're slightly OCD and refuse to sleep or stop until everything is unpacked.  (Max)

6. While being six months pregnant, sending your 18 month old to his grandparents for the week- instead of relishing in the rest and enjoying your husband, you will cry A LOT, especially when you see other babies.  (Jack)

7. While being seven months pregnant, encourage your husband to remodel the bathroom leaving gobs of construction dust around the house that requires crawling on hands and knees multiple times a day to clean- and also encouraging him to do this whole project between you 1 year old's bedtime: 8:00pm and your own bedtime: 8:30pm, daily... makes for a very long project!  (Jack)

8. While being eight months pregnant, lose complete feeling in your hands so you drop everything, send your husband to another country, meanwhile forget to hydrate and start to have contractions, and simultaneously enduring a ATL summer that makes your legs swell up like the most humongous sausages you've ever seen. (Max)

9. While being nine months pregnant, go to Athens for your baby brother's graduation, while re-living your own hay days in your mind, walking around the University of Georgia campus like you haven't been having early contractions-- all while toting a 20 months old, and keeping up with your whole family.  (Jack)

10.  While being ten months pregnant, (and yes, the whole thing actually lasts almost 10!) going into labor at 2am and having the baby at 8:41am... 2 (TWO!) days later after 50 hours of labor without any drugs, and no sleep and then the final 5 hours with an epidural.  (Max)

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