Where Did That Come From?

Max has a really tiny window of time where he switches from being my super sweet boy, to so tired he just might die.  So when that happens, I have about .5 seconds to feed him and put him to bed or all the crazies come out.  Last night, we were piddling around the house and getting stuff done while Chad was playing gold and all of a sudden I got the first squeak with a simultaneous yawn and eye rub.  It was time.

So I ran over to the sink, while holding Max with one arm, and began fixing his bottle (because he will no longer nurse).  I had the warm water in the bottle and 3 scoops of formula poured in- but I didn't quite get the lid on when this came down from the roof:



That is a rodent tail.  And it flew down in front of my face and began waving back and forth.  But before I could get a grip, and calm myself, I dropped my child into the sink, spilled the entire (sticky) bottle all over the ground, and yelled the word "S#!T" so loudly that Max started his scared cry.  Please refer to my prior post on "s-words" as to why I reacted so poorly.

Once I re-gained composure, I had to clean the mess, while trying to calm Max and then make a second bottle.  And my kitchen floor was sticky all night.  Needless to say, I did not catch the "window" last night, due to the scary creature dangling it's tail at me, and the crazy did come out.  By the time I got Max to bed, I was sweating.  Jeesh!

But onto my question:  Where did that come from?  And by "that" I mean the squirrel and the bad word.  Let's start with the squirrel:  I didn't see him get up there on the roof-- so he must've been there the whole time, which means as some point while I was fixing the first bottle, he decided to back that thang up and drop it like it's hot??!?  Secondly, the "s-word" (the real one, not S-N-A-K-E) is my go-to word-- when I need to let out some frustration or really get my point across, that is the word I choose.  I really like the relief I feel after using it.  But that means I can't abuse it- I have to save it for such relief-needing situations.  AND Gabe (aka little ears that hear and remember everything) has been in my life for 4 years now and so it is my habit and my lifestyle to make sure little ears are not around while using choice words.  So, does that mean in my head I think it's ok to cuss around Max because he can't talk yet???  What if that had been the moment he decided to bless me with his first word, and "S#!T" was what he came up with?  Thank goodness it didn't happen, but I think it's time to change my "go-to word" because obviously I can't handle the responsibility of the one of I have now!