This post is all about me. Can you tell by the title? But that's allowed because this blog is about my refining, and let me just tell you, I am being refined!
The thing the makes me crazy:
THRUSH! So here's the short of it- if you make it to 36 weeks pregnant, you get tested for Group B strep, if you're positive, then while in labor you get antibiotics. I didn't even make it that far, so I got antibiotics just in case, then I got another dose because he was a little guy, then he came down the birth canal and entered our world. But who knows what antibiotics do besides killing bad bacteria? It kills good bacteria- which leads to yeast. So for weeks Jack had a very white mouth, cheeks, and tongue. Which is thrush- a yeast infection. It wasn't a problem because it didn't bother him.... until he passed it to me. Which means that after about 4 weeks of absolutely painless, easy breezy breast feeding, we took a turn for the worst. Imagine shards of glass under your skin, cracks that burn like fire, and then high electricity volts streaming through your upper body for about 20-30 minutes after he's done eating. Which equals about 40 minutes of H-E-L-L every 3 hours. I'm not kidding, it's worse than the 50 hours of labor without any drugs that I went through to have Max. And it will not go away. I've heard and read that this is the end to breast feeding for most moms, but he is a preemie and I just can't stand the thought of not nursing him- he needs it. Ah! So I'm fighting through, with toes curled and heavy breathing, 2 prescriptions from my doctor, acidophilus supplements for me and baby Jack, and pure stubbornness. But I'm going crazy! Mainly because "they" (the doctors and nurses) know that because of the antibiotic the we'd be more succeptable to thrush but they never mentioned it to me-- I could've started the supplements early, washed everything thoroughly, gotten Jack an RX early, but nooooooooooooooooo, I'm must suffer and go crazy! Not cool.
The thing that makes me annoyed:
REFLUX/GAS! So Jack has a super senstitive tummy- that's fine, he's a tiny tyke, I'm a-ok with that. I've had to cut dairy, chocolate, and even sips of wine. In case you don't know, that includes pizza, cheese dip, ice cream, Starbucks drinks, desserts, my food staples. But honestly it doesn't annoy me- he's so darn cute that one look at his face, and you'd do it too. BUT I'm not losing any weight. Hello! Major high calorie groups are eliminated from my diet with no results... now that's annoying!
(I did get cleared to exercise as of Friday, so maybe that will help... that is, if I actually find (MAKE!) time to exercise!)
The thing that freaks me out:
SIDS: Aka sudden infant death syndrome-- you know, when you baby dies for absolutely no reason and no one can explain it. Our little man loves sleeping on his belly, but I'm only ok with it if I'm right there-- so I started googling to find out if tummy sleeping is really related. AND do you know what I read many times? That preemies are MORE susceptible or at a higher risk or whatever. AH!!! I'm going back to work Monday and my sweeties are going to be left with wonderful people, but they are people that are not me, and there goes my head and my worry and Satan is just having a hay day. So while freaking, I'm praying (a lot) because of course God is in control and He told me not to worry. And also I printed this list and I'm insisting our sitters read it before I step one foot out of the door-- they are going to think I'm nuts, and I am.
The list from the SIDS awareness website:
1. Place infants to sleep on their backs, even though they may sleep more soundly on their stomachs. Infants who sleep on their stomachs and sides have a much higher rate of SIDS than infants who sleep on their backs. (For Jack, in Nap Nanny, Swing, or Bouncy Seat)
2. Place infants to sleep in a baby bed with a firm mattress. There should be nothing in the bed but the baby - no covers, no pillows, no bumper pads, no positioning devices and no toys. Soft mattresses and heavy covering are associated with the risk for SIDS.
3. Keep your baby’s crib in the parents’ room until the infant is at least 6 months of age. Studies clearly show that infants are safest when their beds are close to their mothers.
4. Do not place your baby to sleep in an adult bed. Typical adult beds are not safe for babies. Do not fall asleep with your baby on a couch or in a chair. (Feel free to hold Jack while he sleeps, just don’t nap yourself while holding him J If you get sleepy, place him in his Nap Nanny or swing, then take your snooze)
5. Do not over-clothe the infant while she sleeps. Just use enough clothes to keep the baby warm without having to use cover. Keep the room at a temperature that is comfortable for you. Overheating an infant may increase the risk for SIDS. (For Jack, just light clothes and his swaddle blanket while sleeping, nothing else. If you’re holding him while he sleeps, then feel free to snuggle him in a blanket- he loves that!)
6. Avoid exposing the infant to tobacco smoke. Don't have your infant in the same house or car with someone who is smoking. The greater the exposure to tobacco smoke, the greater the risk of SIDS.
7. Breast-feed babies whenever possible. Breast milk decreases the occurrence of respiratory and gastrointestinal infections. Studies show that breast-fed babies have a lower SIDS rate than formula-fed babies do.
8. Avoid exposing the infant to people with respiratory infections. Avoid crowds. Carefully clean anything that comes in contact with the baby. Have people wash their hands before holding or playing with your baby. SIDS often occurs in association with relatively minor respiratory (mild cold) and gastrointestinal infections (vomiting and diarrhea).
9. Offer your baby a pacifier. Some studies have shown a lower rate of SIDS among babies who use pacifiers. (Jack likes the paci in order to fall asleep but won’t keep it in his mouth- just use it to settle him)
10. If your baby has periods of not breathing, going limp or turning blue, tell your pediatrician at once.
11. If your baby stops breathing or gags excessively after spitting up, discuss this with your pediatrician immediately.
12. Thoroughly discuss each of the above points with all caregivers. If you take your baby to daycare or leave him with a sitter, provide a copy of this list to them. Make sure they follow all recommendations.
And lastly, the thing that makes me happy:
VIDEO MONITORS! We didn't have these the first go around- our house is tiny, so I resisted. I didn't even have a monitor at all- seriously! But then you find yourself going in to check, when you weren't needed, causing a debacle, or getting yourself out of bed because you think you heard something, only to awaken yourself (and the child!) for no reason. And sometimes, you don't go in when you should've... like per-say, "diaper" issues. So my aunt sent us her video monitor that she wasn't using anymore. And we set it up on Max and are so thrilled with it that we bought another for Jack. So at night, I wake up, look to my right, get an image of my two, beautiful, wonderful, sleeping boys and go right back to peaceful sleep, and a happy grin plastered across my face.