Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Get yourself a Jill
Ok, my little man at 5 and half months is cutting a tooth-- yes, a tooth. And according to my googling, this IS early by about a month and a half. So yes, he's advanced. He's the smartest, bestest, cutest baby there is. And according to my mom, he is perfect.
As a first time mom, I'm still constantly learning and reading and asking questions. When does this happen? When should that happen? How much longer til.... etc etc etc, times infinity. And it gets very overwhelming- which leads to my point:
If you're doing this for the first time like me- being a parent- then you need a Jill. A Jill is someone who is a few steps ahead of you-- in my case 12 and a half months. So when I feel crazy, or like I'm a bad mom or I think my baby is broken, then I call her/ text her/ email her and she always says "that's fine" or "no big deal" or "oh yeah, that happened to me too". BUT let me stress that you need someone who is slightly ahead of you to calm you down after you googled and found really scary stuff or the pediatrician made you feel like an absolute idiot or you haven't slept.
Let me know tell you about my Jill. First of all, she LOVES being a mom, and her son is adorable and wonderful and smart and precious. And you're going to think I'm making this up, but if you compare pictures of Max and her son at certain ages, they look A LOT alike, which makes me very happy. Another plus is that she has a very similar parenting mentality as me-- scheduling, nursing, organic food, spending time with our children, what's important, etc. She struggles with doing everything perfectly and feeling guilty if any area of her life gets less than 100%- as do I. (Not that this is right-- we both are trying to work on our perfectionism- and the chaos that stems from it- BUT it's great to talk to her without having to explain and she gets it.)
Now let me briefly qualify and say that I have several friends who are incredible moms as well, and my own mom has been AMAZING through these first several months- helping me when I ask, and letting me figure it out when I don't. But Jill JUST did it, so she remembers, she has a boy, which is what I have, I can get in touch with her when I need something or have a question, and that's that, I trust her answers and I get piece of mind from what she says, I can be honest about what I'm doing "wrong," and I can move confidently forward, and get my undies out of a wad.
SO if you're a new mom, get a Jill, if you're about to be a mom, start thinking through who can be your Jill. And if you're like me, and have a Jill, thank God for providing people and community for this whole parenting thing. He is a GREAT GOD who not only gives us open access to Him, the Father and Creator of the Universe, but He also blesses us with people and community and family and Jill to help.