Meany Head and My Boo

I started this post on Sunday- almost a week ago.  I was planning to brag on my husband and call out the sneaky snake (aka Satan) for the “meany head” that he is.  You see, every time I take long enough to think about my great hubby or get stopped in my tracks from his awesome-ness, then within 24 hours, no joke, we are in some sort of huge fight.  The bible makes it clear that Satan is our enemy- it even compares him to a roaring lion, prowling around looking for someone to desire.  So he attacks our marriage anytime we’re doing it well.



Well, I didn’t even get this post finished, because of the craziness of the week, but Satan still got us to fight.  Meany head!  But I’m going to brag anyway.



So back to Chad.  I just want to tell you about him for a minute.  I hope through this blog, you already know that he’s a great dad.  He loves our boys, he’s the kind of dad that plays with them AND kisses on them.  I know that combination is rare, but it fills my heart with such excitement that it just makes me want to explode with love when I watch him in action.  He’s also very hands-on and involved with their upkeep- he’ll feed them, bathe them, change Max, tuck Gabe in, etc… although I am the mom and that stuff probably comes more naturally for me, anytime he’s needed, he is willing and able to jump in.  I always tell him that if something ever happened to me that my mom would need to move in for months, but really, when it comes down to it, he is a very competent daddy.



And as a husband, he’s great too.  This past Sunday, I had a big stack of postcards that I needed to write on and mail out for all our volunteers in the children’s ministry at church.  Chad and I coach together in this ministry.  When Chad saw me working on these, he asked if I wanted help.  I actually laughed at him, to only later ask him to help.  He did, too, no problem.  And then the more I thought about it, I wondered just how many husbands would actually volunteer help with that?



I know that seems like a little thing, but Chad will do anything I need him to do- he’ll go to the grocery store with me or for me, he’ll clean the kitchen if I’m overwhelmed, he’ll help with laundry—and he’ll do all of these in one evening after a hard day of work if I ask.  He’s a servant, especially when it comes to me.  He loves me and I think he’d probably do just about anything in his power to make me happy.  And of course, his sense of humor is incredible too- he can make me laugh- all the time- even when I’m trying really hard not to laugh.  And he is my very best friend in the whole wide world.



All of this is 100% true, yet why do I focus on the stuff he needs to “work on” instead?  I never hesitate to point out a flaw but I rarely even acknowledge his strengths.  And if on some rare occasion I do, then the meany head I mentioned above slithers in and causes a ruckus.



But here’s the catch- Satan has already been defeated, so why do I keep letting him win?  God was victorious over Satan and sin forever, at the cross.  And so I’m deciding right here, for all to see, that he doesn’t get to have that hold over me or my marriage anymore.  I know Chad and I are still going to fight, and I know we’ll always have things to work on, and we won’t always agree.  But I also know that if I focus on his strengths and love him for who he is, then we can bust up Satan’s party in the midst of our marriage and we’ll be better spouses and parents for it.



Do you hear that meany head?  I’m on to you.  I know you attack me when I take time to count my blessings and admire my husband.  So I’m calling you out- and you don’t get to do that anymore.  And I’m telling all my friends about you too, so they’ll strong arm you right of out their marriages too.  No more stupid fights when things get going really well.  No more stupid fights on the way to church or on the way to tell others about God.  Sorry, game over because you just lost your foothold here!

A Pick Me Up

I've listened to this song a MILLION times today and I just thought I'd share:

Bad decisions and TMI: More #2...

Yesterday, I potentially made my worst parenting mistake to date.  I took Max to the funeral.

I didn't realize it right away, but Monday was a hard day for me and it shook me up quite a bit.  It was hard to come face to face with death and realize that it is a reality.  Dave, Katie's dad, was the 2nd parent of my friends (MY AGE) to be buried this month.  That doubles the number of funerals I have been to my entire life!  The "scene" on Monday was very surreal and like a real-life episode of CSI.  I know there are people that encounter stuff like this all the time, but for me, it was new, and it really rocked my little world.

I've really struggled since then with worrying- about the men in my life- Chad, Max and Gabe, my brothers and my parents too- and anyone else I came in contact with that I could possibly worry about.  I've been a lot more sheepish about leaving Max- even just in his own room at night- and I keep waking to go in and check on him hourly.  Which brings me to the funeral- I "couldn't" drive 60 miles south and leave Max at home- I just wanted him with me.  So I brought him.

But unfortunately, he acted JUST like an 11 month old- what was he thinking?  He wanted to crawl around and play and chat.  He squealed when I took something away that was making too much noise, and laughed and clapped when he was proud of himself, and he had no qualms about making noise.  We stood at the back of the service so I could still hear, yet let him crawl around, but he wasn't quiet.  I had my stuff on the back pew and several people came in late and sat ON it.  So then I was stuck.  I was really torn about what to do- I wanted to hear and be a part of the service- I wanted to walk though this with Katie too, and be able to remember the Truth the was spoken into her heart at the funeral, so that I could repeat those words to her over the weeks and months to come.  But my child was disrupting everyone.  I took him out briefly and it calmed him down, but about 7 minutes after we came back in, he was at it again- being an 11 month old.

By this point, I was so flustered, embarrassed, and frustrated.  I could tell the service was almost over and the last thing we needed was for us to be standing at the back when the recessional happened- so I just snatched up Max and left.  By the time I got to the car, I was sweating and on the verge of tears.  I packed Max in the car, and started driving only to get caught in 5 o'clock traffic in downtown Atlanta.  By this point, Max was ready for some real mommy attention, and he was more than ready to be out of his seat.

My attitude wasn't good.  I was mad at him. But every time I adjusted my mirror to look at him, and I saw his cute face, I melted.  And then he would start fussing again, causing the cycle to start all over again.

I tried processing what would've been the right thing to do- God, Chad, and Max are my priorities in life-- but in this situation, Katie was too.  I was really stuggling with how to be a great mom and a great friend at the same time.  I was also feeling really selfish for bringing him, just because I didn't want to leave- but after this crazy week, Max was really feeling Mommy-neglect, so I knew it was best for him to be with me too.  Just not at a funeral.

Almost 2 hours later, we were about a mile from our house when Max started pooping.  His face when he does this is classic-- it's like it so much work, even though what he's working on isn't exactly "firm".  This got me laughing which was just what I needed.

After I parked the car, I got Max out, slung him on my hip, and began to gather all of our stuff.  All of a sudden a hear a big plop... then another.  I look down and there are BIG globs of poop on the garage floor.  I look at his car seat and there's a ton there too.  I look at the baby, yep, affirmative, all down his legs... and lastly, I look at me, in my nice, dry clean only clothes, and yep, all over me as well.  As I stood there holding Max like a bomb that was about to blow, I couldn't even think straight.  The child has impeccable timing.

Tears filled my eyes and I peeled his clothes off and took him straight in to the bath tub.  As I became more acquainted with the situation, I realized that it wasn't the "quality" of the poop that was the problem- he wasn't having stomach issues or anything-- it was just the quantity.  It was like a 2 month back up made its appearance, right in the midst of my major frustration and pity party.  Really?? And he is VERY regular, so I'm really unsure as to where he was storing it!  Once I got myself cleaned up, I called Chad to warn him about the "chocolate surprises" in the garage.  Luckily, recounting the situation for him got me giggling a little.

He came in and hosed out the garage and I cleaned the child.  After the mess was cleaned up, I put Max in the living room to play so I could work on dinner and the laundry pile that was beginning to resemble Mt. Everest.  But immediately, Max started fussing.  I looked at Chad and said, "This is NOT my favorite day, I'm really frustrated and I think my head may pop off."

He responded,singing in perfect tune, "Lean on me... when you're not strong... I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on...."

Oh thank goodness I married comic relief.  Again, I laughed.  And laughed some more.  And headed to the kitchen to conquer the night.

The child was relentless- fussing and squealing the rest of the night.  But it wasn't until I was cleaning out his high chair after dinner that it hit me-- I've been a bad mom this week.  I haven't sat once to play with him, I haven't sat down once to teach him something, I haven't even been singing our good morning song when I get him out of his crib first thing or singing about body parts and animals on the farm as we drove.  Max was acting out because he needed my attention.  And I was frustrated because I didn't have any attention to give him.

We did make it to bed time without my head popping off.  I tucked him in, with our normal routine, and shut his door, expecting not to hear from him again until the morning- which is his norm.  But immediately, he started screaming.  As in bloody murder.  Chad and I looked at each other with eyebrows raised and I went back in.  He was standing at the edge of his bed with his arms out towards me.  I picked him up and cuddled him into my chest and immediately he fell asleep.  I stood there for a few more minutes, thinking about the work I needed to do and get to my boss, and again, feeling frustrated.  I laid him down in his bed, and again, SCREAMING!

So I picked him up, cuddled him in, and he went right back to catching some zzzz's. I sat down in the rocking chair and rocked and rocked and rocked... and before long there were tears rolling down my cheeks.  But I wasn't mad this time, or overwhelmed and flustered-- I was crying because it took the 11 month old to remind me that this was what life was about- tasks could wait- but it's the people all around me that God has called me to-- and cuddling up my favorite little baby in the whole entire world was the ONLY thing I needed to be doing right then.

My heart melted, and all of a sudden, I was very content with where God has me right now- I can be a mom and friend at the same time, because He called me to both.  Thank you God for using the little things (both literally and figuratively) to remind me how precious life is!

Tweets That Never Happened

This week has been emotionally exhausting and I feel like I've just been going through the motions as I think about my friend and her broken heart.  I haven't done any laundry this week or cooked a meal, and thankfully our Maggie bathed Max today while I was at work.  I have errands to run, and emails to respond to, and things to plan.  But there's just not time right now.  I've also been MIA on twitter, and yet for some reason, my brain thinks in tweets.

I wish I was kidding, but I'm not.  So this post is purely a little pick me up-- these are real life thoughts I've had these past couples day, and yes, I did think them in tweet format-- but yet they never made it to twitter.

So if I’m sending MY son’s first birthday party invitations, does this mean I’m an adult? #didntgetthememo

I just stood at the automatic paper towel dispenser waiting for 10 seconds before I realized it wasn’t automatic#spoiled

My husband said “I’ve missed you tonight” and I replied “Thank you for cleaning the kitchen. #speakingeachotherslovelanguage

Gabe starts 2^nd grade on Monday- wasn’t his 4^th birthday just the other day? #timeflies

Sometimes I forget to eat for so long that McDonald's sounds AMAZING.  But I still don't go there.#haventlostallmycommonsense

All add some more as my weird brain thinks of them....

Meanwhile, you can follow me on twitter: @lbowman24 and ideally I'll actually use it again soon, ha!

A Day to Remember

Yesterday was a very sad day in our lives and the lives of our dear friends Katie and David.  Unfortunately, the pain won't just last a day either.

Katie and David are in our small group and have been our friends since before we were married.  We met at church and just clicked.  We love doing life with them.  Recently, Katie accepted a new job... at the same company I work for.  She has an incredible brain and work ethic, and she is type A and organized, so it has been just WONDERFUL working with her.  With the 2 of us working in sync, but on separate tasks, we manage to get 10 times more things done... and it's just the beginning.

Anyway, yesterday we were at work, and you could tell something was "off" with Katie.  I began asking her what was wrong and she explained that her Dad was missing and she was sending the police to his door.  (He lives about an hour and a half south of us.)  As the story kept unfolding, it didn't sound good, and honestly, we began thinking though the worst possible scenarios.  Our boss is a very wise and godly man and gave very clear advice on why Katie should go down there immediately and meet the police. I rode with her, and I'm grateful that Chad was in Atlanta working, so we picked him up on our way through the city and took him with us.

When we arrived, two officers were already there, and since Katie is the "next of kin"- with her permission, they could knock down the door and go in.  As soon as this happened, her worst fears were confirmed- Katie's dad, Dave Cannon, was dead.  He had been dead for many days.  Katie's mother met us there, so Katie, her mom, Chad and I just stood there and watched the story unfold and many lives be changed forever.  We know God is sovereign and that God is good, but this is tragic, nonetheless.

The house was considered a "crime scene" for several hours, just normal protocol.  It was eventually decided that he died of a heart attack or stroke, instantly, without any pain.  Although this siutation is horrifying, knowing he just went to be with God, without suffering, is very comforting.

(Katie's husband, David, was in the midst of taking finals, and was unreachable for several hours.  But he was able to get to Katie by yesterday afternoon.  Katie's younger sister, Amy, was at band camp.  Katie and her mom went to tell Amy what had happened after all of this.)

Once we were released from the scene, I drove Katie up the road to find a bathroom, before she began making plans about how to handle everything.  She looked over at me and said "You agreed to do life with me, not death- I'm really sorry you're having to be apart of this."  She then began the "business" side of being the executor of the estate and talking about the funeral.  She was really worried about making sure the service honored her dad.  I stopped her and pointed out that the service should celebrate his life, it should speak Truth into the hearts of Katie and her sister, and it should be a time to worship our Heavenly Father.  Instantly, her shoulders relaxed, and I think for a minute, she actually felt the peace of God.  Then it was like a floodgate had been opened and she started running through how loving her father was, how big his heart was, how much he cared for her and Amy, and it was a very sweet moment.

At the time, I was just in robot mode.  But when I got home last night and began processing the day, I began to analyze all of it a little more.  I had held my dear friend when she found out her father was dead, I cried and prayed with her in the 100 degrees temps of south Georgia as the story unfolded.  And I will continue to love on her and grieve with her over the next days, weeks, and months to come- what a blessing!

This is why God set up the church- this is why God set up community- we need it to live- when need it to stand with us.  And when you're in relationships with others, then it isn't hard to walk through death and tragedy, because it comes naturally, our of love.  Our small group consists of 3 other couples as well, who were praying as we drove to the house.  They continued praying when we received bad news, and they began organizing on the home front.  None of us feel what Katie feels- but we love Katie- and we are doing life AND death with her.  And my point is that because we are in "this" together-- whatever "this" may consist of-- that even when "this" gets hard, it's easy to support each other.

If you don't already have one, you need a support network.  You need a body of believers who are committed to speaking truth into your life, even when it's not what you want to hear, and are willing to walk with you, daily. God created it and called us to it because he knew we needed it

What a blessing to be able to walk with friends through this.

And lastly, please pray for Katie and her sister Amy, as they deal with the tasks and heartache associated with such a loss.  The have a very small family and need the body of Christ loving them, praying for them, and speaking Truth into them.  Thanks friends!

Please Help!

Ok, you mothers have wisdom and I need some!  Max, now a little over 11 months old, has been waking up in the middle of the night for over a week-- why??  At first, I thought it was a growth spurt and I would fix him a bottle, he would gulp it down and go right back to sleep.  This is how he was as a new born too-- when he woke up in the middle of the night, he only wanted to eat.  He never tried to play or wanted to be cuddle.  I was only there to meet his hunger needs, then I was sent back to my bed :)  Thank you, Max!

But now, for the last week, he's been waking up between 3-6 am-- for about an hour-- and he cries HARD until I come get him.  It's like this really high pitched squeal that is awful.  When I go in there, he'll relax on me for a bit, but then sits up like he wants to talk or play.  I don't let him- I leave the lights off, and just sit, not talking.  If I lay him back down before he's ready, he screams and scream and screams.  But if I go sit with him for about 20-30 minutes (silently, in the dark) then he'll go back to sleep.

WHY????



We have been on vacation recently, his schedule was/is all messed up.  He also is being switched to milk right now.  He is crawling and pulling up and cruising around furniture a lot. He may be getting teeth?! He has 6 right now and there are a few buds on his gums, but nothing looks "close". And his cry is almost like he's in pain- but only in the middle of the night- not at nap time, so I don't think it's ears-- but I don't know.  He has missed at least a nap, if not both, the past few days too, but again, this problem has been going on for over a week.

Any thoughts/ experiences/ feedback you have is awesome and I WANT to hear it.  I'd love to know why this is happening and if there is anything I can be doing on my end to meets his needs.  Because of waking up, he's sleepier during the day for sure, and just not himself.

By the way, I do still give him a bottle about 30 minutes before bed- and he doesn't usually finish it all.  So this is another reason I'm thinking it's something besides hunger and/ or a growth spurt.

I prefer to think that all of this is just because he misses me-- but if I need to be more open-minded than that, I will :)



Please leave comments below or email me at lbowman24@gmail.com

TMI: Peeing on the floor

Good morning.... it is a good morning here at the Bowman house... Max slept until 8:45 and Gabe is still sleeping!  This is a MAJOR accomplishment!  I've cooked, cleaned, worked, and emailed already!

Anyway, Gabe slept in Max's room last night in the extra bed because my brother spent the night.  So when Max woke up this morning, at the first noise, I ran in there and grabbed him and a new diaper and brought him downstairs before he could wake up Gabe.  I got his old diaper off, but my Max, he LOVES to be naked, so he did not want a new one to replace it.  If he was a few years older, I'd be worried, but he loves crawling naked, dancing naked, and playing naked.  He's adorable and he knows it!  You should just see those butt dimples!

So this morning, he talked me into letting him go naked.  After the diaper removal, I walked into the kitchen to get my phone.  Then... I came around the corner to find Max standing at the couch, peeing, standing up, like a grown man and so PROUD.  And it was with such force that there was psssss noise! I did get an in-action picture, but I don't want to be flagged as "dirty" so you'll have to settle for the after-picture.



And don't worry, I did scrub it with that pet carpet cleaner, so we are disinfected and germ free.  But it DID crack me up.