Wednesday, July 24, 2013

I'm In Trouble, BIG Trouble!

So I realized recently that I'm in trouble in a big way. I always text my mom about things that happen in these parts and she's responded more than once with a "I can't wait for the blog on that one". And the fact that "it" was blog worthy, never even crossed my mind until she mentioned it. Did you catch that this has happened multiple times. I really must be going numb to the boys, their liveliness and (mis)adventures! It appears to be normal, daily life, when it reality, the things I've been encountering are  anything but!

Here's a list that is in no way comprehensive or exhaustive, but it should give you a taste of "normal"these past weeks...

I regularly hear myself say things like "if you want to stand on Mommy, take your shoes off" and "don't drive trucks or motorcycles on the baby." If I had a nickle for each time I told Jack not to yell, I'd be rich-- his volume level include ear piercing, brain rattling, and asleep.

Max regularly starts a sentence with "Hey Mommy, can you come here? I peed on the wall because..." and honestly the ending doesn't matter. There is never a good reason, son, never. Why is it so hard to hit the bowl? It's like 1000 times bigger than the pee stream.

The other day, I was fixing water bottles for the boys and noticed something in Jack's lid- like the spout that lifts up and attaches to the straw. I always take them a part to wash each thing separately, so it was like peanut butter had gotten up in there. I couldn't think of how, but I took it apart again nonetheless to examine and it was a ROACH that had crawled up in there and died. Either Jack would've been drinking roach water or he would've sucked it into his mouth. Gives me the hee-bee jeebeez!

Max and Jack now share a room which could basically be an entertainment show each night. This includes jumping on beds, diving into the corners, cackling, singing every song they know at the top of their lungs, and "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" multiple times and at multiple speeds. It also includes different "levels" of night time... at first, the rule is no screaming (this is for Jack, mainly.) And then within 20 minutes or so, we go back in and add on level 2... keep your head on the pillow... and then before too long level 3: no talking. But really, fun with your brother is worth any cost, so it also usually includes a spanking or two for each boy. Now we can see them on the monitor and watch their every move and Jack can go from having a ball, the time of his life really, to flat on his back yelling "I no want spanking" in under .002 seconds at the mere sound of the door knob twisting. And how am I supposed to keep a straight face?

I've been working out again, post-baby, doing BeachBody's Focus T-25, and Jack likes to sit with me while I do it. I literally cannot breathe and he's offering me apple sticks, doing squats and giving a loud "whew" each time I'm sucking wind and moaning.

At least once a week, I cook dinner with the baby tied to me in his moby wrap and do all kind of yoga maneuvers to make sure nothing hot comes near him. I also get "help" with my bible study each day and even managed to get a special drawing in my bible when I wasn't looking. I tried to discipline and reinforce that we draw only on paper, not books, but let's be honest, this page will be my favorite in about 20 years when my nest is empty! I've recently said "aw man, the baby has toothpaste in his hair" and in one lunch, fed Gabe a completely pizza from Pizza Hut and an entire protein shake with a banana and OJ, and it was only then that he was full.

Gabe also found a frog of some sort in the back yard and it was their pride and joy for about 24 hours. They put him in the baby pool on our back porch and constantly had their hands in that water... and then came in my house flinging them all over the place like I don't have OCD or something. Hello boys... keep your frog germs outside lest you want your momma to lose it! And so what did they do after this lecture? Came in with frog hands to the paper towel roll, rubbed their hands all over the whole thing, before tearing off a tiny towel. Is this sanitary? The proceeded to name the frog "Toady" and spoke often of him, until Gabe noticed that he was "taking a stiff nap"... oops, they killed the little thing. Darn.

There are balls flying about 24/7, indoors, often coming off of a bat and I get hit at least once a day. At least one boy also gets a bump or bruise worthy of an ice pack daily as well. Blood is present more than I'd like to admit. These are things that once would've caused me to panic, and now, when I hear "the scream" it doesn't even do a number on my blood pressure. I get there when I can, ice in hand, and dole out kisses as necessary, and off we go, back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Gabe gets hung up semi-regularly on "keeping score" with his brothers so I asked him to make a list of the responsibilities of being 10 versus the rewards of being 10... I was trying to point out that while he may have more chores and have to fix his own breakfast, that he got to go to his friends house without me, have sleepovers, stay home alone, etc... but in his eyes, the rewards for being 10? Getting to read chapter books and not having to take naps. Hilarious!

So as I sit here and search my brain and text messages for reminders of all these funny things that are happening around me daily, things that I want to remember in 20 years although the seem like no big deal now adays, and as I get nervous that these things don't even phase me anymore, I can't help but also point out the things that will get me each and every time... I will never get over pudgy baby hands... I will never not appreciate "Mommy hold Jack"... I will never get over hearing any of the boys utter the best phrase ever, "I love you, Mommy"... Max will outgrow our naps times and hand holding long before I will, and hearing the boys tell each other "You're my best pal" will melt me every. single. time. Looking at their faces while they sleep will always be one of my favorite pastimes and just listening as they all play together and giggle will always be music to my hears. Watching Gabe, Max, and Jack scramble to find a paci the second Sam begins to fuss will always cause my heart to swell, and driving my extra full minivan will always be a source of pride and joy.

I may be growing numb... moreso each day... and the mud and muck is just a part of this life. But I can assure you that raising these boys, being entrusted with their hearts, being chosen as their mom, well now that is my treasure, my gift from God, and I will NOT get over it- it WILL get me every time. Man, I LOVE BEING A MOM.

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