You know, with this baby, I haven't had any of those moments where my head spins off and I cry and heave and shout and holler. It usually hits me within the first week, and again at the three week hump, but Sam turns 4wks tomorrow and there have been no emotional breakdowns or temper tantrums from me. I dare not call it a success yet, but I'm beginning to think we've escaped it.
I can think of a couple reasons why-- because of the home birth, I never went into that crazy exhaustion because night time nurses think everyone should be awake if they are and let's go check on that new mom every 24 minutes to make sure she never rests. And let's be honest, we were on the crazy train leading up to the birth- moving, acquiring Gabe and homeschooling, and growing said baby Sam among all the other nutty commitments we live in normally. Or it could be because this is the 3rd time we've done this in under 4 years and now we're just numb. I don't know, but I'll take it, because those post-partum lose it attacks are not pretty and it takes a loooooong time for recovery. Especially on your husband's part. He's all tip-toeing around and yes dear and nodding his head while backing himself out of the house. It's a good thing men don't call their friends and vent or else men would stop having children. They'd compare notes, hear about the post-baby crazy, and quit reproducing. The end of humanity would come quickly.
Anyway, let me tell you what is happening around here and you will see that the grace of God in resting atop this place! 1) Chad is in his busy season, aka we never see him. He is taking tomorrow off which makes me do the happy dance every time I think about it. But I'm leaving for abBeth Moore conference with girlfriends (and baby Sam) and then he's back to work Saturday so it's really a facade. But don't tell me. 2) Since Chad is in his busy season and I'm raising 4 boys, including one that is nourished by my own person every 3 hours, we've resigned to not really talking or connecting-- just more of a zone defense sort of game plan-- who's on what and when? Texting with location and ETA and all converging at the dinner table for a minute or two. I'm not complaining totally, because it's working, but I am resting in the fact that this is only a stage. 3) Sam was tongue and lip tied... I say was because I took him to an ENT on Tuesday and they clipped it WHILE I was holding him... Need I say more? 4) I need parenting advice from seasoned parents on how to handle Gabe. He is VERY respectful of me and never disobeys on purpose, but this 10 year old is so spacey and forgetful and just has his head in the clouds so often that I find myself fussing the majority of the time. He doesn't do what he's supposed to do and say's "oh I forgot" a million times a day and loses things like it's his purpose in life. How do you train and discipline that? How do you teach responsibility and let him suffer consequences even though he's not really doing it on purpose- he's just not paying attention, ever!!!?!! Help please! 5) Jack is acting out because of the baby... Huge fits at bed time, never obeying, following me around all day crying "mommy I need you" every second that I'm not holding him. (reminder, I feed a baby a bazillion times a day so poor Jack!) He even had my mother ready to give him away yesterday and that's basically impossible. 6) Max is actually in his prime right now-- wanting to do everything by himself including making his own bed and dressing himself and sleeping in big boy undies all night and seriously never wetting. Just all of a sudden he was like "hey, I'm gonna go from 3 to 13, watch mom!" and I'm all huddled up, weeping in the corner, praising his independence on the outside but hating it on the inside. Let's be honest- its a gift from God during this time- I can't be all thing to all people- but I'm still not ready to accept that he isn't as needing of me anymore. Tear(s). 7) And last but not least, I packed up my maternity clothes because there's nothing like the threat of having to go naked to get you to make good food choices. But I have like 2 things I can wear. People are going to start noticing...
8) These people dirty up 486 loads of laundry a week and yesterday, while folding laundry during nap time, Sam filled his diaper, then his cup runneth over... Onto my bed, and me, through the sheets, to the mattress pad and managed to get it on 3 blankets and a burp cloth. Thank you for more laundry- I had nothing better to do.And see. I write all that- there's probably 10 more but my brain is only functioning at 47% right now- and there's still no break downs. Now tell me there's not a God all up in this place! He's spreading some serious peace and chill pills and we're all even smiling and liking each other, going places, and enjoying the sunshine. I can't promise the same for next week, unless the Lord continues to intervene- but let's just say that if God can relax this OCD uptight type A crazy woman, into this new me- more laid back, enjoying all these precious moments, basking in this stage- with no help or cooperation on my part, then He is certainly still in the business of miracles!
Thank you Father!
That's all from the Bowmans for now... Hopefully I'll get a Sam update, including how fast he's growing up soon-- what a baby!!! He's amazing :)
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