Basically, my life has totally changed-- I am now fully responsible for my kids around the clock, as well as my home, and parts of my husbands business. I don't ever have to leave the house or clock in elsewhere, which is so awesome, but that's not to say I'm not "working" nonetheless. And I've got to say, the pay is so strange-- it does amazing things for my heart, but my bank account, well, not so much!
I rarely get a moment to myself, and I don't get to think my own thoughts, and I have small people touching me ALL the time. I also feel like the laundry and the kitchen cleaning is never ending-- and sometimes, that just makes me want to go get a job! But there are so many amazing aspects of being "here", doing "this", and putting all my energy and heart into "them"-- I honestly feel like they are my calling-- their hearts and who they are-- their education and how the treat others-- it is what I'm all about right now. And again-- the days are long, but the years arevso short. I pray that when I get to heaven, God looks at me and glances over at my children and smiles and says "well done Lauren, you took this job, your calling, very seriously, and I am very pleased."
It's been a journey for sure-- I've always wanted to be a mom, it's been my dream and I knew I wanted to stay home with them, but people who knew me well wasn't sure I was really cut out for that. But then, when I was pregnant with Jack, oh how the Lord laid in on my heart. Being home with my boys became a burden-- thinking through it and about it and praying over it made me emotional-- it wrecked my heart. So I started praying that God would make it obvious to Chad too, and tell him when it was time.
And then, a year ago, God did just that-- It was my husband who said "it's time for you to come home"-- I know where I was on the ramp of 575 when he said those words, and I will never forget the joy the overcame me at that moment. I liked my job and a really enjoyed my co-workers so so so much-- they are still dear friends-- but I knew my kids needed all of me. During this year, the Lord has provided at every step- He has reaffirmed this decision over and over- and He's even given me a few things to keep me busy "on the side" (but let's be honest, keeping busy isn't really an issue!) I do some contract writing and help with booking at The Echo Group. I also take care of invoicing for Chad's company and double the boys in our house by taking care of the Spiva boys on Wednesday. With my SAHM gig, I also get gym time to take care of myself, and I go to BSF weekly where is LOVE the set up and how they lead you to dig into God's word. It's also great for my boys who just love the children's program there.
We don't have a bunch of spare time laying around and usually once I crawl into bed, I'm out before the lights are, but let me just say-- oh, how I'm exactly where the Lord has me right now. And I am so at peace.
My friend Anna, who was given the joy of becoming a SAHM just a few months before me sent me this quote not long ago-- it couldn't sum up my work as a mom any better: it puts into words why I've been called home!
"There is magic in doing one thing, and doing it well, with the full force of our focus. What if we allowed ourselves the freedom to become engrossed in one task, one project or one conversation, really giving it our best? Rather than saying yes to everything, imagine the gratification in saying no to things that distract us from our purpose, in favor of saying yes only to the most important things. Then, instead of wondering if we’ve really done our best, we’ll be gratified to know that we have."
- From "The Art of Doing One Thing Well" in today's Manner & Lane
(And again, THANK YOU Chad for working hard and providing for our family so that I can be here. I coudn't be more appreciative of you and your hard work if I tried.)