Jack- 28 weeks aka THIRD TRIMESTER!!

I am 28 weeks pregnant, and in my 3rd tri-mester and I have yet to document this journey at all-- so without further ado, a picture taken by the famous photographer Gabe Bowman:



And here I am with Max at 28 weeks.



Now let's discuss this dress.  This dress was something I wore feverishly throughout my last pregnancy- granted I wasn't due til the end of August in Atlanta and the thing was cooler than the other clothes I owned, BUT really friends?  I thought I could count on you-- this thing is hideous.  Several/ many months after Max was born, I stumbled across a home video Chad had taken just days before Max showed his sweet face, and I was wearing this dress. When I came around the corner to see Chad filming, I got mad, told him to turn it off, then when he told me he was trying to capture this to show the kids, I turned my butt towards him and stuck it out-- in that flaming red dress.  And it was at the moment that I doubted my friendships-- I mean who would allow such a thing?  Large large things in red is bad-- very very bad.  And to think that I waddled around in that thing uninhibited just boggles my mind.  SO it has not been worn ANYWHERE or any day during this pregnancy- I just put it on for this pictures so that I could do a good comparison.

You see, with Max, I was clueless.  And learned afterwards that I was huge.  This time, I feel great and move great, but in my head I'm huge.  So I needed the side by side to make the final call.  Unfortunately, the new picture is just as disturbing at the first one should've been.  Oh well.

Lastly, many of my pregnant friends are capturing the week by week journey of pregnancy much better than I am, but I'll copy their method for this one week (about 27 weeks late!) and I can't guarantee that I'll remember to do it again!

Pregnancy Highlights:
How Far Along: 28 Weeks 

Size of baby: Jack is the size of a Chinese cabbage. He weighs two and a quarter pounds and is almost 15 inches long.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: I have no idea- a lot.  But I don't even know where I started, because I had abandoned the scale as my Max weight wasn't leaving as I had planned.

Maternity Clothes: All I wear now. Unless you count sweat pants- which is what I put on as soon as I get home from work, and those do not have to be maternity, thank goodness, because I hate maternity pants- I hate the band that comes up over your tummy, and now Jack is low enough, the he pushes my pants down if I get the low-rise under belly kind.  Lose/ Lose 

Gender: It's a BOY! Jack Henry Bowman

Movement: He moves a lot now and usually at times when I can appreciate it.  The down side is when he gets all dance-y while I'm driving-- that makes me fear wetting myself!. He has a pretty regular sleep/wake schedule and and I'm hoping hoping that his head is down at this point, but I don't think it is- yikes.

Sleep: Sleep is good- I do like to wake around 3am and hang out with myself in the dark most nights, but it's short lived.  And as long as I go to the bathroom around midnight, I'm good until the morning, yay.  BUT 3 of the last 4 nights have consisted of huge, multiple hour long thunder storms, meaning Max and I are spending some extra quality time together- yehaw.

What I miss: Honestly, not much at this point (I'm telling you the pregnancy is easy) but I'd like to be able to keep my breath, even if I run up that stairs, ha!  I also miss margaritas with my Porton Posse.  And I miss being able to eat whatever without contemplating if it will lead to heartburn.  But again, all those things are no big deal, so I'm doing A-ok!

Cravings: food- ha!  I'm on a cereal kick- something I don't normally eat and I craved cake yesterday so I baked one, then once it was cut didn't want any?! 

Symptoms: Sore hips/pelvis at the very end of the day-- I feel like my bones are pulling a part and running to the bathroom every 30 seconds during the day- but I can still get down on the floor with Max and back up easily.  BUT no swollen feet or carpel tunnel or any of those other shananigans from my Max pregnancy.

Best Moment this week: Jack's been getting hiccups this week and at this stage of the game, they're still precious :)  I'll let you know when that changes.... but for now, I love it :)  I feel like me and him are sharing a secret.

And to conclude, a cute picture of the photographer and his side kick:

Myth or Fact?

I have several good stories that I need to share and some funny Bowman boy moments, but I need to post this first, if I hope to remember it....

A couple months ago, I read an article that the whole "pregnancy brain" theory was a myth.  But being the very official doctor and research specialist that I am (not) I have many reasons to believe that the article is seriously messed up-- way off base-- deranged even!

Pregnancy brain is defined by What to Expect as a: Pregnancy-induced brain fog, a true (and truly frustrating) hallmark of pregnancy. You may forget appointments, what you just walked into the store for, where you left your purse, whether you turned off the stove — and maybe, your phone number.

You know, absent-mindedness, irresponsible, forgetful, air heady, unreliable, scattered....

AND these are all words that those closest to me would NOT use to describe me.  In fact, they are the opposite of me. I'm not tooting my own horn here, I'm stating facts-- I'm type A EXTREME, organize and remember everything including what you were wearing when I saw you 2 year and 3 months ago, slightly OCD when it comes to details, and in the words of my husband, "she remembers everything, you should try arguing with her".  You want me planning your event or taking care of your home or your children....

Except when I'm pregnant.

Now all of a sudden (especially this pregnancy) I am a NUT-CASE. 100% certified preggo brain!  Let me list a few of the nutty things I've done within the past month:

1) Moved wet laundry from the washer to the dryer, WITHOUT starting the dryer, multiple times-- then pace around after about an hour wondering why the dryer isn't dinging that it's ready for folding.  Mainly because it was never started, hello!  (Chad has also discovered mounds of wet clothes in the dryer several times as well.)

2) When I went to my glucose test and OB appointment, I looked in my calendar on the way down to make sure my appointment was at 10:10-- and it was--- THE NEXT DAY!  But even though it was Wednesday and I was looking on my Thursday calendar, I showed up at the doc-- that's right-- I showed on the wrong day BUT I had the correct day written on my calendar.  They laughed at me, profusely, and then squeezed me in.

3) Last week, our sitter had to drive up to my work so I could sign the check I had written her-- luckily, when she got to the bank, she looked over the check before depositing it-- so it was only minimally embarrassing.  Her text to me said something like "preggo brain, you forgot to sign my check"

4) We ran out of wipes and diapers in the diaper bag for the first time since Max was born-- I always re-stock his bag when there are like 6 left, just in case- you never know when you'll get stuck in the car for days, with no stores and no visits home..... but this weekend, with ketchup all over him and his girlfriend Lizzy, I had NO wipes or diapers for changing... none in the car, no napkins, nothing-- major mom fail!

5) My friend Danielle has asked for a picture CD from my computer no less than 30 times- she has called, emailed, and texted, all moments before I walk out the door to see her and I have YET to remember it-- I have burned the CD 3 times and put it in 3 different bags that I'd be sure to remember-- and yet, the poor woman still hasn't seen the pictures- and quite frankly, she's going to be disappointed- the pictures aren't even that good!

6) Last week, Max and I pulled up to a store, and I got him out of the car and walked IN only to realize I didn't have my keys with me-- I ran out to the car panicked that I had locked them in his seat or something-- I set them down a lot when I'm trying to get him out of his seat-- only to find them IN the ignition, with the car RUNNING, in the parking lot.

7) I text our sitters the night before with what time we need them in the morning-- Chad's schedule changes all the time so they don't really have a set schedule.  Anyway, our other sitter (not the one with the check) got back in the country from a mission trip and I wrote her this great text about her trip and welcome home and could she be at our house at 8, etc... only I never actually texted her- I just did IN MY HEAD and she had to wake up at 6am and text me to find out the plan for the day.

8) Chad loves Quesadillas- like ones we make at home with fajita meet and beans, etc... so I planned it for dinner, looked through out pantry, made a list of ingredients that we needed, went to the store, came home and started cooking only to have to call Chad to stop on his way home and get cheese-- but really, it's not like it's a main ingredient or anything-- certainly you understand how I forgot it.......

9) When I started writing this blog post, I had 10 amazing things I had done recently, but now I only remember 8

10) My cousin Natalie is having a baby today, yay!

Cravings!

I haven't eaten a Mellow Mushroom in FOREVER, but my favorite thing there is the jerk chicken and pineapple calzone.  Well blame baby Jack or hormones or whatever, but I've been craving that calzone something crazy!  So I decided I was going to make it for dinner this week.  I didn't even care if my boys turned their noses up-- it was what we were having and they needed to deal with it!

But while I'm at the store, I decided that it also needed broccoli.  (Maybe I'm low in some vitamins or something?!) And while I'm at it, maybe eliminate the ricotta cheese, which would make Gabe squeal.  And while I used to be Mrs. Betty Crocker in action, between my job, church stuff, growing a human, running Bowman headquarters and taking care of Chad, Gabe, and Max, I also opted for the pre-made pizza dough in the deli section of Publix.  Thank you Publix for this wonderful thing.  (I originally planned to by pillsbury pizza crust-  lame, but this stuff was homemade (by someone else) and perfect!  I didn't even know Publix made dough for people like me, so thanks Katie for the tip!)

And from there I made it all up.  Mixing together bits and pieces of other recipes and giving into my craving 100%.... first, I got the chicken tenders washed and poured a tiny bit of olive oil over them, in a bowl.  Then I sprinkled jerk seasoning all over them, giving them a good coating and let them sit in the fridge for about 30 minutes.  Meanwhile, I pressed the dough into a big circle and steamed the broccoli.



Once the boys were starting to ask about dinner, I preheated the oven to 400 degrees, grilled the chicken in a skillet, spread half the bag of mozzarella cheese down the middle of the dough, sprinkled pineapple chunks, without the juice (from a CAN!) on top of the cheese, added the broccoli, then cut the cooked chicken tenders into bites with my kitchen scissors on top of all that.  I spread that all out in a 5 inch strip down the middle of the dough, then poured the rest of the cheese on top.

Lastly, I folded the sides of the dough up, to meet in the middle of the heap of ingredients, and pinched the edges together all around.  At this point, it was completely sealed and it just looked like a long log of dough with a seam. Then I cracked an egg in a bowl, beat it by hand for 30 seconds, then painted all over the dough.  Finally, I sprinkled some parmesan cheese on top and baked it for about 20 minutes.



We each got a bowl of pizza sauce for dipping, and la-te-dah, it was a HIT!!!  Gabe loved it-- ate a big piece, then had dessert, then asked for another piece, ha!  Max ate it up, and Chad devoured almost half of it. My craving satisfied us all, and was so easy that I wanted to pass it along so you all can try it!  Use whatever ingredients your heart desires, stuff it full, and eat it up.  I'm so excited about this little treasure- it will make a regular appearance on our meal plans!  And it was all the food groups (bread, cheese, veggie, and meat) in one recipe-- my favorite!

All Riled Up!

There are days when your children just get you all riled up.  Sometimes this is good and sometimes it is bad.

Yesterday, Gabe had a special field trip to the Atlanta airport to view his art that was chosen for an exhibit.  Art and creativity are Gabe's things-- he's just stinkin good at it.  My mom gave him an art kit a couple Christmas's ago that still gets brought out almost daily for whatever he's working on.  Whether it's drawing, creating, coloring, or all of the above, he's good at it! So for his art to be picked like this was HUGE.  He is one proud little man.

Chad took the day and went with him as a chaperone.  For a man who does his own thing all day, this was big-- and hour + bus ride each way, during which he had to turn off his cell phone, 3 people to a seat- tons of kids goings crazy all around, the chaos of the airport, and not so organized trip, lunch in the concourse, etc... This isn't really Chad's style, but he wanted to spend the day with Gabe, so it was worth it.

Before I go on, I want to be honest and point out that Gabe is in the midst of some struggles right now, in general-- trying to figure out who he is, what we expect of him, what he's responsible for, etc... He has multiple houses, multiple parents, and a schedule- and he's smart enough to play all this out for his own good!  He wants to do as little as possible, so we're constantly talking about initiative-- he wants to be babied, so we're constantly talking about responsibility-- he wants to manipulate the adults who loves him and care for him, as well as his friends and peers at school, in order to get his way, so we're constantly talking about being self-less and putting others first-- he wants to throw fits and lose control, so we're constantly talking about self-control and how to handle anger.  This all sounds good and well and clean-cut as a type it, and I wish I could tell you that we always handle this well and use scripture and have wonderful conversations, but sometimes that just isn't that case-- we/I lose our cool, and there goes the teachable moment!

Anyway, one big thing is Gabe's social skills-- they're kind of awkward.  And to some degree he's just a goofy little boy (like beyond just the typical 8 year old goofiness).  This is who God has made him to be- there is no arguing that.  His Mom and his Dad are both very good in social situations, make friends easily, can carry on conversations and make others comfortable, etc... but with Gabe, not so much.  Everyone is his friend to him- but not everyone wants to be his friend- which hurts his little heart. Which leads to tears.  Which leads to more people not wanting to be his friend.  The stuff he likes to do and talk about isn't necessarily "cool" or mainstream-- which is a blessing and a curse all at the same time.  We don't want Gabe to conform to everyone around him, but we do want him to be a well-liked, sought after human being, with upstanding character and integrity that always points back to the Jesus who lives in his heart.  (I want this for myself too!  AND I don't always do that well-- so it's not that Gabe has to be perfect- he's just struggling with it a bit more then the rest of us).  HARD!

So in the midst of all this, there are many many conversations and prayers about how to parent through this.  We're asking questions of older and wiser people.  I'm asking for accountability, and honestly, just begging God to give me a pure and clean heart and intentions in my moments, conversations, and love for Gabe.  But it's not always easy or feel-good moments. Sometimes it's really hard and frustrating, and I'm just left exasperated, shrugging my shoulders, scratching my head, and saying "huh"??

Which all leads me back to yesterday....

Chad got home from the field trip- dropped Gabe at home with me and Max, and headed out to work for a bit.  From 2pm-3pm, Gabe was such a pill- not sharing, deliberately making Max squeal, disobedient- that I sent him to his room earlier than normal for his afternoon reading time.  I laid Max down for a nap (that he didn't take) and proceeded and handle an issue with our insurance that they completely handled and were sorry that they messed up, yadda yadda, but it still took over 30 minutes.  I then got several things done for work, and then decided to get both boys and take them to the park.  A little fresh air would be good for all of us.

Gabe ran around for the full hour, playing HARD, dripping sweat, and enjoying the other kids there-- win!  By the time we got home, I was certain that everyone's hearts were in a good place and I was ready for dinner and Chad to get home, and some family time.  Wellllllll....... Chad was home for about 5 seconds when Gabe knocked his dinner all over the floor because he wasn't obeying.  About 2 minutes after that he started crying because his "stomach hurt"-- his line (lie) that he uses every time he doesn't want to eat something-- but offer something else and magically the stomach ache is gone.  As the meal planner, grocery buyer, and food preparer, this drives me so nuts that I honestly can't see straight when he begins to pull this stunt.  And after the afternoon we'd had, I just sent him to his room (NOT nicely) and told him to dry it up.

(At this point, I am all riled up- and it's not the good kind.)

Once he was upstairs I asked Chad about the fieldtrip-- what kind of day had Gabe had there?  Chad informed me that it had been a long day and pretty frustrating.  Boo!

(At this point, I'm scratching my head...)

The rest of us finished eating, and we got the kitchen cleaned and then Gabe started yelling for his Dad.  When Chad went up there, Gabe was "starving" and could he please come eat?  Well the boy was most certainly hungry-- I can't imagine the calories he burned on the playground- so he was given explicit instructions to clean his plate in a step by step process, starting with the thing "giving him a stomach ache".  He gobbled every bite up in about .05 seconds and came into the living room happy as a clam.

For the next 30 minutes, Chad and I sat on the couch and talked, the boys played.  Gabe again starts bossing Max and making him squeal.  He also interrupts me and Chad 9437685 times while we're trying to talk. At this point, I'm irritated- feeling like it was a waste of a day and energy, for both me and Chad.  I was feeling sorry for us, that we had "gone out of our way" for Gabe to have a good/ big day and it was a bust.  I'm saying "huh" as assess the situation.  I'm feeling like we lost ground today- instead of gaining it as we had hoped.

At bedtime, I did Max's bedtime routine and Chad did Gabe's... and Chad came out with little tear in his eye...

Gabe told him that it was a great day and that he was so glad the Chad came with him.  He then bowed his head and prayed, thanking God for the day and his Daddy-- his "very best big buddy".

And there you go- in a nutshell- your kids can drive you from one extreme to the other in a blink of an eye- they have the power to melt your heart and make it pound with anger or fear- and they can bring tears, and humility, and love with one small sentence.

I know God's using us to shape them, but I think He's using them to shape us even more!

A glimpse of heaven

When it rains, it pours, which I've experienced myself recently, but this time, I'm talking about Anna.  Shortly after Evie was born, while she was in the NICU, Anna was making the drive to visit her daily.  One morning, after dropping EG with me, she got in a little fender bender- the other car had a scape and Anna's car needed some minor repairs-- not a huge deal, just not good timing.  So then, Anna was car-less, while trying to see her baby in the NICU, and take care of Elizabeth Grace, while Robert worked daily, in order to save his vacation days for later.  But they managed.

The car stayed in the shop for a while, because they found mechanical problems as well.  So Anna would need to rent a car, while paying for the mechanical problems out of pocket because the insurance company insisted that although there were no problems prior to the wreck that there was no way the wreck had down this.  Convenient. Raining... pouring.... Then after 2ish weeks, they get their car back ONLY to have it start shaking and smoking as Robert was driving a car full of people.  Really pouring!

That is as far as the story goes for now as they wait to hear the next step in this oh-so-fun process BUT I do, selfishly, have a silver lining from this story..

So a couple days ago, Anna called and needed my help- would I come over and sit with Evie while she took my car to get groceries and pick up EG.  Um, twist my arm, but yes, I will come hold that teeny nugget of wonderful.



So while Chad was home with our wild boys, playing in the mud and digging for worm, literally, I got to sit in a absolutely silent house, hold (smell) little Miss Evie, and read my bible.  Because I wasn't at home, I couldn't take care of my to-do list, or "need" to do something else right this second, or tell Evie I'd hold her after I finished such and such.... I had nothing to do but to hold the baby and read 1 John.  Oh my goodness.  I really couldn't even contain myself.  I'm honestly not sure of the last time I heard nothing.  I'm not sure of the last time I sat down with nothing else I should be doing.  And I'm not sure of the last time I got to hold a baby that I love with no agenda or someone else waiting for their turn. And I'm not sure of the last time that I just read my bible, without time constraints or noise or distractions.

Oh what a lovely glimpse of heaven.  Just me and Jesus and a baby- how refreshing!

(When I got home, I told Chad about this experience with Heaven and he asked if I went to the bathroom-- well of course I did, I was there for over an hour and I'm 26 weeks pregnant, hello... to which he said "Not heaven-- in heaven you won't have to do that".  Why thanks for that observation, honey!)

19 on the 19th

Our little man is 19 months old today-- 19 on the 19th!  This is the pre-version of the special birthday-- I'll celebrate it again when he turns 19 years old, but I can't think about that right now!  We had a wonderful day of 90's music weekend on the radio, our friend Reed's first birthday party that was so fun, incredible weather, play time at the park with Daddy and Gabe, and then dinner with the Prusa's- this is one I'd like to repeat :)



SO Max, my most favorite 19 month old:

We're still in between 1 and 2 naps a day, your eating schedule looks the same... although Annie and Pops taught you to value cookies while you visited them, and you're very vocal about your need for one... every hour or so.  You did graduate to a size 5 shoes, hallelujah, but the rest of you is about the same... although you're rounder.  I'm sure the cookies have helped with this, but this is also how you roll- literally- just days before you grow like a weed and in turn, make all of your pants too short.



Your biggest change- your talking.  Like non-stop, in sentences, you pick up on everything and notice everything and learn wayyy too much for me to keep up with, DAILY!  On Friday you told us the coffee was hot- who even told you about coffee?  You also ask questions all the time- usually about Daddy or Gabe- Where's Gabe?  What Daddy doing? Where Daddy go?  And if it's possible, I think you're more in awe of Gabe now than you've ever been before.  And Gabe doesn't mind at all :)

[caption id="attachment_1411" align="aligncenter" width="225" caption="Waiting for Gabe to get off the bus"][/caption]

Someone also taught you the words mine and my... this is proving rough for your friends... especially in light of any sort of ball.  Because they're all yours.  Even when they're not! And the sleepier you are, the more yours they are.  I know I can't really teach you how to "share" quite yet, but you must learn that snatching is NOT ok-- and I know your little brain gets it, because when you get ready to snatch, you glance in my direction to see if I'm watching... and here's the thing, I'm ALWAYS watching.  Learn that now.  It's a mom thing- we know, we see, you can't escape it.



You also love lovins now-- oh just melt my heart.  We give bear hugs and make grunts for how hard we're hugging, you  love kisses and tell me where you want to be kissed: "kiss nose, kiss thumb, kiss otder thumb, kiss cheek"-- and let's just make this clear as well-- as long as you're asking for kisses, I'm kissing!  If you're really really busy and I ask for a hug, you'll give me a very slight lean in my direction- as if to say "that'll have to do for now Mom-- I love you, but we'll have to snuggle more later."



The weather has been incredible- and so we spend all day outside.  You're already getting little tan lines :)  And of course all you do it play ball.  You wake up saying "shoot basketball" and you go to sleep saying "hit baseball".  You're in love.  With sports.  And you even have athlete's foot to prove it.  You also like to pretend to fall down all the time-- you've made several people nervous- they've even questioned what was in your cup- but as soon as you get you're laugh, you're good to go.  You love when Gabe "falls down" too-- it makes you cackle.



I wasn't sure it was possible- but in the last month, you've stolen my heart even more.  You're incredible- your brain, your face, your personality, your love-- ahhhhh, I just can't get enough!  You've finally started saying "amen" after we pray-- now I'm just counting down until the day you say amen after asking Jesus into your heart!  Every second I get with you brings me joy- especially when I get to hold your chunky baby hand and feel your indented knuckles.  And even when you wake me up, I still enjoy my time with you. I am blessed beyond words to be your mommy and my love for you is so deep, that you're not going to find the bottom of it.  But I want to remind you that God's love it better than mine- it's deeper, which I can't even fathom, and it's perfect.  Cling to that- live that.  Thanks for being my little man.  You rock!

Desperation

Sometimes, it's the little things that reminds me of the HUGE-ness of being a mom.  The other night, during Max's bath, him and Gabe managed to soak the ENTIRE bathroom.  Honestly, this is normal, and they always have so much fun playing in there, that we really don't discourage it.  Gabe isn't in the bath with Max, but he might as well be!  By the time the water is draining, Gabe's clothes are soaked and his glasses are dripping.

That night while Chad was getting Max out of the tub, I was helping Gabe mop up the floor with his bath towel.  Then I had him put both his and Max's towel in the laundry.  We then shuffled both of them into pj's, got their teeth brushed and sent them off to bed.  Before I headed downstairs, I stopped by the bathroom for a potty break (thanks pregnancy for making this my #1 pass time). I looked over and noticed both of the empty hooks so I got out fresh towels for the boys.  And it hit me.  If I didn't get a towel out for Max, he would  never get one.  If I didn't bathe him, he would never be clean.  If I didn't change his diaper, he would never get a new, fresh diaper.  Max's depth of dependence on me overtook me in that moment.  Although this wasn't the first time I had realized this truth, I was paralyzed by the bigness of this yet again.

Gabe is a slightly different story.  I honestly think that if he were left to fend for himself, he would take showers and brush his teeth.  Chad and I were just noticing the other night how Gabe has NEVER slept through his 6:30am alarm- he doesn't even lay there for a few minutes... it goes off, he hits it, and jumps out of bed, making his way straight to the shower.  This eight year old could take care of himself.  But he is dependent on us for meals, a roof over his head, and safety... for some reason, he can't remember to look both ways before he crosses a street without a reminder!  He is also dependent on us emotionally.  He needs to talk and he needs someone to listen and respond- Gabe doesn't do alone time for more than an hour- and that's only when I "make" him go read for an hour.

God blessed us with these boys- and really there are times when I just think my skin is going to pop open because of all the love in my chest.  But He also made them dependent on me- needing me- learning from me- growing because of me. How humbling.  How huge.  The magnitude of the parenting role is so much that these words I'm fumbling and bumbling around for- I have the power to make or break these kids.  What a responsibility.  Thank goodness there is a big God leading the way.  I pray I'm attentive to His leading- I pray for Christ in me.

The other day, while praying in a small group, my friend Courtney prayed "God, despite all these blessings, we are desperate for you".  That statement has wrecked me- in a good way- this week.  Despite all these blessings, despite me being wired to be a mom, despite the joy I find in mothering, despite the gratitude and gratefulness Chad and I have for these boys-- we need God.  We are nothing, and can do nothing, a part from him.

And Baby Makes Four

A friend from church passed on this article to me, and it's a must-read for mommies!  I'm attaching it here- but I can't find a link for it- they're all protected.  But it's from Mothering.com and the author is Natalia Swenson Parker-- check it out below!  Anyway, it's all about adding baby #2 to your brode, and luckily I read it after Jack was already growing or else I may have decided that Max was enough.  I read the article one morning, over my coffee, and then promptly walked into the kitchen, BAWLING like a baby, and tried to tell Chad why we couldn't have Jack.  Being the wise one that he is, he gently explained that it was too late and could I please stop blubbering long enough to explain what was going on.

To summarize, the article is GREAT!  But it is realistic too, and the fact of the matter is that when you go from one baby to two, then hello, baby number one doesn't really get the attention they got before.  It talks about greiving that "loss" but also you're so excited that you have a new baby that you  just love and adore, and so then enters guilt.  (This is on top of the lovely hormones and irrational behaviors that accompany a new baby).  Oh my goodness, I just wasn't ready for all of this.  And what about Max?

Needless to say, women have been having more then one child forEVER and as a child with two brothers, it was NOT a big deal- it was actually great- and not just was, it is.  And my mom had enough love, and time, that we all made it out alive.  Add that in to the fact that Gabe was 6 when we had Max- so for 6 years was THE center of the universe in MANY different houses, and although he has less attention since Max, they have so much darn stinkin love for each other, that he was over it in about .05 seconds.  (Gabe is smart enough to TRY and play the "I feel left out" card, but we remind him of the 3894574389 people that love him and stop their lives for him every time he has a boo boo, or a performance at school, or a soccer game, and he quickly hides that card back in his pocket, waiting for the next time that it might work....) So I'm sure the same is true of the budding Bowman clan, we'll be fine, we'll survive, there will be love and cuddles and bonding, despite the chaos, but could you really expect me to be reasonable and rational at a time like this?

So all you seasoned moms, who have grown multiple children in your womb, what do I need to know?  What are some tricks of the trade?  Will I ever sleep again?  How do I nurse with a 22 month old running around?  How do I make sure Max still gets attention?  And that he loves his brother?  And that he knows that I love him something crazy?  And will Jack feel left out?  Or will it just be how it is for him?  Anything you got, I want to hear it!

Thanks for suffering through that emotional breakdown with me... and I'm sure this is just one of those Parenting Builds Character things!

Little Boy

If you  have a little boy or want one, this may make you cry- it's a poem my mom used to have hanging in our house.  When I was 10ish, I used to make up a new tune regularly and sing it.  The funny part is that I thought I was really original and that I could sing. Funny!

Anyway, Max has been asking to "watch bideo" which of course means he wants to watch his Baby Signing Time video- he's not much for tv or holding still for that matter, but he does like this video and if someone sits with him and does the signs, he'll stay on the couch for the full 30 minutes! So as a result of a rain day, I found myself on the couch, signing away with Max and watching his pudgy little baby hands as they talked about shoes and socks, good manners, airplanes and buses, and hand washing...

Before I knew it, I was studying his hands, trying to commit them to memory, chastising myself for not taking more time to etch them in my brain.  I couldn't for the life of me remember what they looked like 6 months ago- and then "the poem" the now hangs in our bathroom entered my mind:

Little Boy

Let me hold you a while to my heart, little boy

I am going to lose you, I know

For one terrible thing about nice little boys

Is the fact that they simply will grow

 

Do you know that you'll soon be too heavy to hold

Why, your feet even now reach the floor

Tis a very nice size if you'd only stop now

But I think you intend to grow more

 

Let me gaze in your eyes while their light is for me

Let us sing while you still like my song

Ere the hungry years carry away my small boy

I am fearing it will not be long

 

Oh, your hand is so warm and so chubby to hold

And your soft cheek invites me to kiss you

Let me hold you a while to my heart, little boy

For I think I am going to miss you

Spring Fever and Pregnancy

When I started this post, it was all about tums and how they were misnamed and should really be called "lifesavers".  It also went into detail about how Tums were the only consistent part of my day... and it wasn't food related- it was just all the time.  Like if I breathed-- which, naturally, I did! But I had decided that if 26 weeks into pregnancy, that was all I had to complain about, then really, it wasn't a complaint at all.

But somewhere along the way this weekend, some of that changed... first of all- no heartburn for DAYS in a row!  Now I don't know if Jack just stopped flipping around and is causing less of a ruckus or if the good Lord just put the kabash on it all, but regardless I'm grateful-- so very grateful!



But in the midst of wonderful weather, some other things have happened.... first of all, Chad and I spent the whole day cleaning and organizing our garage- it was a wonderful feeling, but I really think I lost my mind and forgot that I was pregnant.  I was crawling around, bending, picking up, lugging, etc... and although I was getting "the look" from protective Chad, I ignored him and kept on- hello, it was organizing-- like I was going to miss that!  BUT by the time the clock ticked 8pm that night, I could NOT walk.  Everything hurt.  And I wanted to cry.  Why yes, I most certainly was pregnant, despite how I felt otherwise!

Then, for the first 20 weeks of my pregnancy, I was "under weight"- as in, hadn't gained any lbs since we first heard the heartbeat.  This was more annoying to me than anything, because 1) I was eating, a lot- mainly because I always eat a lot. 2)I gained weight the second I got pregnant- water, hormones, something, but several pounds but those didn't count, because I showed up at my first appointment with those pounds, so there was no gain in their book 3) I NEVER lost all my weight from Max and it hung in my middle, which was plenty of room for baby Jack.  SO I had a weight complex- feeling like I wasn't taking care of Jack BUT on the other hand, knowing he had plenty of food and fat to thrive.  BUT don't you worry, I totally fixed that!  Between 20 and 25 weeks, when I had my glucose test, I managed to gain 6 pounds.  Oh yeah, 6 freaking pounds.  I almost fell OFF the scale.  I'm not sure what is worse- being told you weigh too little when you're trying to grow a human or seeing the scale jump like that!  And those pounds are very noticeable.  I look 9 months pregnant!  My clothes are right tight and by the end of the day, I think I waddle.  So far, no swelling, but it's just around the corner, I'm sure of it!  And getting off the floor, while carrying Max (and Jack) just isn't what it used to be-- I look like a 90 year old woman and I groan, too.  Oh joy... 14 more weeks!



And I got a call yesterday that my glucose test was great BUT I'm low in iron- fail!  That can cause learning disabilities and such, so needless to say, me, red meat, and leafy greens will be doing a lot of bonding in the near future.

But alas, while at my 25 week appointment last week, there was another Lauren there, IN LABOR, and it gave me the itch.  I canNOT stinkin wait to have our sweet Jack- I'm ready for it all, labor, the 3 weeks of H-E-L-L that follow birth, and sleepless nights-- I canNOT wait to meet him and hold him and carry him around and love him-- ahhhhhh!!! The countdown is ON!

MIA- and other random thoughts

We have so many upcoming blog posts that are going to be great... Chad is almost done re-doing our bathroom after completely riping out the old bathroom that would've made Carol Brady proud, and I mean down to the studs... pictures will accompany that post!

Also, I completely missed  Gabe's birthday?!  I think because Chad was in charge of pictures and only did video-- not real blog pictures...

I also need to tell you about our pillow debacle and how it's very obvious that I'm pregnant now- thank you heart burn.

Also Elizabeth Grace turned 2 yesterday and we took dinner over to their house and I got to hold baby Evie for like an hour and it was heavenly.  She wasn't supposed to be here for another month, but instead she's already  been here a month, and if you meet her, you'll know why:  She is such a sweet little baby doll that God got so excited to share her with the world, that He sent her out early!  We took Lizzy cupcakes and she was hilarious-- my favorite part was when her Daddy tried to distracted her from the pantry into the living room and she said "I'm busy right now"-- hilarious!!

I'm so grateful for all my boys and blessed that I get to hang out with Anna's girls too-- best of both worlds!

BUT Max has been on Spring Break with my parents all week and Gabe has been with his mom, and we really don't have much to show for our time kid-free... we do have a hot date tonight, and besides dinner for Lizzy's birthday, I have NOT cooked.  And we've definitely gotten more sleep... but I am SO ready for Max to come home tomorrow that I just can NOT stand it.  I cried for the first couple days he was gone (Sun/Mon/Tues) was fine yesterday (because I has other babies to hold) and then today my chest gets to full of excitement when I think about seeing him tomorrow.... I have looked at every picture of him on my iphone, daily, and all I can say when I think of that sweet face and those baby blues- is be still my heart, there is more of this to come!

Lastly, yesterday I had an OB appointment and had my glucose test-- I walked in and signed in and the receptionist started laughing... my appointment was TODAY, and I had it written on my calendar for today, and yet, I showed up a day early... They got  me in anyway, after all the giggles :)  But yesterday was the turning point- there was another Lauren there in labor and although labor isn't exactly my idea of fun, it made me so excited for my Jack to arrive that I keep wishing for him... I'm ready now!  I hope the next 14 weeks FLY by!

Ok, that is all my random thoughts for the day and I have no pictures to share because once AGAIN my computer has died and this time they cannot bring it back to life-- I poured coffee all over it, yep, I'm that awesome... 2 in one month! And my new one should be here this weekend. Pictures and blog posts with a purpose (unlike this one!) to follow.